• Gone Girl

    Gone Girl

    ★★★★

    yeah, my parents divorce makes sense now

    gone girl walked so marriage story could run

    ma wife!

    pick one, thats my review

  • Zodiac

    Zodiac

    ★★★½

    If you haven't seen Law and Order, i'd highly reccomend it

    Mundane police buissness aside, this movie made me feel a sense of absolute dread and paranoia throughout jake gyllenhal's part of the movie, and one scene in specific i could feel my bones scrape tightly together

    The rest kind of blows

    This movie just makes me appreciate Once Upon A Time in Hollywood even more, cause it's a historical retelling, alternate reality, this was just law and order with…

  • 28 Days Later

    28 Days Later

    ★★★

    I've only ever heard of this movie, and i'll be real fam...i was underwhelmed

    this movie felt like a Doctor Who special when that one army guy was Doctor Who, and i say that cause it sometimes looks like it, i don't know how in the mother duck this was filmed but its just looks kind of bad

    Like everything has a weird hugh to it or looks a bit too soft and fuzzy, and i would know soft and…

  • Freaky

    Freaky

    ★★½

    I watched this like last week and forgot to log it, but here we go!

    Let me set the stage for you scamps so you get a better idea of the enviroment. I'm on the couch, cock and balls touching the air freely. My bare asshole is interacting with the right most couch cushion as i surf the channels. Alvin and the chipmunks in the highschool movie comes on, my softy goes full retard, and ben stiller starts speaking to…

  • 50/50

    50/50

    Your favorite movie is never one of the best of all time, sure it can be! That should never limit your enjoyment and appreciation for the best of the best, the cream of the cram (teehee, giddy little school girl laugh)
    But if that fact were true, everybody would be sporting Godfather posters on their wall and walking around in a Nirvana t-shirt, and while that sounds earily accurate to today's youth, that's not this guyyyyyy.

    It's your favorite movie…

  • Sunshine

    Sunshine

    ★★★★★

    I saw a cinema wins thumbnail and decided i'd watch it purely off of that, and y'know what...im not ashamed to admit it! That's right! i'm quirky now, this review is gettin' some pazang!

    Sunshine, if i had to describe this movie is a: Sience-fiction, Thriller, Drama. What the fuck! I had so many ups and downs if this were a roller coaster, it'd make me vomit (and I've got a tough gutt, holds the stuff nice in belly). If…

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    ★★★½

    I know its my dumb fuck monkey brain but god damn brad pitt is cool

  • Mortal

    Mortal

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    at this point its fair to say that norse mythology has entered the mainstream and if not, is very nearly on the brink of it

    this was a cool movie that i'd like as a child, that would age well with nostalgia

    but i ain't no dumbfuck kid and this is an intresting interpretation of an idea, but my time is better spent trying to get good at my generations equivalent of fornite, which im too young for it to…

  • The Empire Strikes Back

    The Empire Strikes Back

    ★★★★★

    This, this is a movie, this is the best movie, this movie is like if hot fudge replaced cum, thats what this movie is. Holy shit, holy shit, just like, like, god fuck, forgive me lord but i must say, this is a poggers moment, thats gonna date my review and also make everyone who reads it even mere minutes after writing it cringe but godamn, this movie is so fucking on point.

    This is the empire's movie. This movie…

  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War

    ★★★★

    My brother tagged along with me to watch this on tv, as a marvel virgin, and I gotta say, fuck that guy, he's the worst

    good movie tho

  • Star Wars

    Star Wars

    ★★★★½

    I'm not gonna say i've seen this before, because like many kiddos my age we only saw tem like once on VHS and by the time our brains dveloped to a point to comprehend these movies the prequals were already out. So with that out of the way, what the fuck is a Star War?

    First off, this movie is fucking brilliant, i never thought i would have such a pleasent time "revisiting" this movie, and yet there i was…

  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    ½

    When you scrap the third movie in a trilogy to restart the franchise for some bizarro dumfuck money based stupid fucking idiotic reason then you're digging your own grave from the get-go. No way you try to captialize on a franchise that was already established and good purely because the direcetor behind the first movie knew what he was doing, and get away with it.

    This movie is comparabel to Suicides Squad, both are bad movies, but they're not BAD…