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  • Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit

    Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit

    ★★★

    A DEFINITIVE RANKING OF THE MOST SUSPENSEFUL MOMENTS IN FILM HISTORY

    1. Touch Of Evil car bomb
    2. Waiting to see if Sister Act sits in the glue
    3. (insert other examples)

  • 1917

    1917

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The next time you're having a bad day, remember what this guy went through:

    - Sleep rudely interrupted
    - Dragged into deadly mission
    - Cuts hand on barbed wire (tetanus)
    - Accidentally sticks said hand inside stomach of dead body (mega tetanus)
    - Gets blown up / caved-in-on by bunker explosion
    - Has to listen to boring story about some dude getting bitten by a rat
    - Drinks random bucket of yuck dairy
    - Best friend stabbed when he looks…

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  • Artemis Fowl

    Artemis Fowl

    The Irish deserve better

  • 6 Underground

    6 Underground

    In the most Michael Bay moment in film history, characters roast the statue of David for having a small dick