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  • Firestorm

    Firestorm

    Well, it did give me what I wanted to see. That being the part where Howie Long throws a fire axe at someone's head. That's the only part I remembered about this movie, via the trailer. It also gave me the bonus of having him shove the bad guy's head through an upside-down boat, which caused it to catch on fire.

    It's not worth seeing unless you really want to watch a forgotten cheesy 90's movie that you saw trailers for all the time back then and never got around to seeing--like me.

  • Head Office

    Head Office

    I'm surprised more people haven't seen this, or admitted to having seen it.

    It's a star-studded parody of 1980s corporate culture with Judge Reinhold as the lead character. Yes, it's a mess of a movie, which is part of the point. I'm pretty sure you can come in at any point in this film and not feel lost. That's how much this movie is all over place.

    Despite the lack of focus, I couldn't help but enjoy the jokes that…

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  • The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat

    The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat

    ★★★★★

    I actually dove to the ground to get the full 1895 theater experience of watching this film.

  • Interior. Leather Bar.

    Interior. Leather Bar.

    ½

    Regardless of whether you end up watching this or not, there is one very important thing you need to know. The plot summaries that say there are 40 minutes of Cruising fan fiction are flat out lies. There are approximately 11 minutes here. That's it!

    The rest is behind the scenes yakking as if James Franco just discovered the sky is blue. You are getting, and I even hate to mention it in the same breath as this movie, but…