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  • Shrek Forever After

    Shrek Forever After

    The finale to the Shrek saga leaves just as bad a taste in my mouth as the first three movies. It’s complete lack of charm and humor make it physically painful to sit through and just make me hate this terrible, green ogre even more.

    Let’s start off with the plot. Shrek is too ungrateful to enjoy a life with lots of friends, fame, and a family, so he decides to make a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to be an “ogre…

  • Shrek the Third

    Shrek the Third

    Shrek the Third is probably the best Shrek movie, but that’s not saying much. Another 90 minutes of boring jokes, annoying references, and annoying talking donkeys makes for a bad time.

    Shrek the Third is notably the only Shrek movie to not open with a storybook, which is probably for the best, considering how lazy of a storytelling technique it is.

    After seeing Prince Charming’s life fall apart due to the loss of his mother, we transition to Shrek’s life…

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  • Shrek

    Shrek

    Shrek is one of the worst movies I’ve ever had the displeasure of watching. The jokes aren’t funny, the barely-existent story is way too predictable, and it has no right to be as beloved as meme culture has made it.

    The film opens with a horrendous orchestral piece while Shrek narrates the fairytale of Princess Fiona, creating the laziest and most cliched set-up of any film I’ve seen. The viewer’s ears are yet again violated only moments later when Smash…

  • Shrek 2

    Shrek 2

    They say the sequel is always worse. In this case, the sequel couldn’t be any worse.

    Shrek 2 is lucky in that its predecessor gave it nowhere to go but up. Unfortunately, it doesn’t do much with that potential.

    Shrek 2 once again begins with a lazy opening, with Prince Charming reading a slightly more detailed version of the storybook from the original movie. It then transitions into Charming’s mission to save the already-rescued Princess Fiona from the dragon’s keep,…