Shrek Forever After ½

The finale to the Shrek saga leaves just as bad a taste in my mouth as the first three movies. It’s complete lack of charm and humor make it physically painful to sit through and just make me hate this terrible, green ogre even more.

Let’s start off with the plot. Shrek is too ungrateful to enjoy a life with lots of friends, fame, and a family, so he decides to make a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to be an “ogre for a day,” which he later finds out will end his life if he doesn’t kiss his true love, Fiona, by midnight. The catch is that he’s transported to a world where he never existed, and nobody knows who he is. Talk about boring! The movie pretends to have this complicated and interesting narrative but is nothing more than surface level alternate universe storytelling.

This movie really has no reason to exist. Not only was the franchise way too overdone by this point, but the plot has so little to do with the rest of the Shrek Cinematic Universe and only serves to teach Shrek a lesson about being a better person.

In Shrek’s alternate reality, all the characters you’ve come to know and hate are completely different, with Donkey receiving the biggest changes. Once again flooded with negative response to the character of Donkey in Shrek the Third, the writers have dramatically changed his personality to be more akin to that of Hannibal Lecter of Silence of the Lambs, yet his joke telling still makes me want to throw up and the animation team had the great idea of making him look dirty in this one, which makes him that much more repulsive.

The main lesson of Shrek Forever After is to not take what you have for granted, and that you can make the world a better place just by existing. Unfortunately, the Shrek fandom takes this message a little too seriously because of course the weird Shrek guy acts like everyone loves him just because he makes jokes about a bad kids’ movie, oh wow you’re so cool and mature thinking Shrek makes you cool. As if!

I want to take a minute to elaborate on Shrek’s cultural impact and why it has objectively made our society as a whole worse. Shrek appeals to the intellectually weak. Those who think that Shrek memes are funny are inferior to the sane people of the world, but unfortunately are able to use the annoying ogre to signal to one another. They then build one another up to believe that they are funny and cool and popular when they’re really not because jokes about a kids’ movie make you look like you’re 5 years old and still think that potty humor is acceptable. Dear all Shrek fans, I hate you.

Overall, Shrek Forever After gets a 0/5 from me, as its plot, characters, and jokes continue to be unbearable and leaves the already bad franchise off on a sour note.

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