Sigh. I genuinely like the first Transformers. We're a long way from that now.

This is the first Bay film where I've ever been spatially confused. It's a routine allegation I've never found true. The opening 12 minutes of Bad Boys II spin through about 10 locations offloading plot as they go, and it's never unclear. Whereas here, there's quite a few, "wait, where the fuck am I?" moments. This is the first time I've seen the Bay most people…

Slightly overlong, and a bit light on tension, or any great plotting, but once you realise just how much of a love letter to cinema this is, it's irresistible.

Lovely work from the whole cast, with Ben Kings - "SIR BEN!!" - sorry, *Sir* Ben Kingsley on great form, Sacha Baron Cohen making some nice real moments of emotion among his pratfalls, the excellent Michael Stuhlbarg (Boardwalk Empire) as a starstruck Rene Tabard, and great performances from Butterfield and Moretz…

I don't get Marilyn Monroe. Or rather, I get it, but it's not for me. I find her an irritating presence in films, even when deployed effectively, such as in All About Eve. But overall, no, the big deal is lost on me. (She was also far prettier as a brunette, as in Bernard of Hollywood's early stills.)

That didn't stop me enjoying the biopic - though how much I believe Colin Clark's account I'm not sure - and admiring…

Hmm, cycling. I'm not a sports person by any means. In fact, by ANY mean, and yet there are a surprising number of sports movies I've enjoyed. But still, cycling?!

But hold hard, for who's that in command - it's only bloody John Badham! Thinking back, between WarGames, The Hard Way, Bird on a Wire, Stakeout, and Short Circuit, John Badham was probably one of the first non-household name directors I learned, probably because I saw a lot his movies…