19
Mother!, a movie which boldly states (check that exclamation point!) that even God can't shackle his wife into a state of constant submissiveness, for it is in her nature to intrude on his processes and successes and rights as a man. How dare she! Truly an abomination. It isn't merely that it's stupid: I've seen plenty of sublime excursions into such a realm. No no, it's that Darren Aronofsky never capitalizes on the pretentiousness of his own doing. It's…
4K Restoration
100
Some thoughts post-Tobe Hooper Tribute screening:
- That cut to black sent the sold-out crowd into a frenzy. A jolt of sweat-drenched adrenaline present as dance.
- Its broader structure is a nightmare, obviously, but observe how moments and gestures repeat as if you've reached the end of a dark tunnel only for the tunnel to extend further. A never-ending terror. It doesn't conclude: its circulation is, for our sake, cut off. Watch as Leatherface and The…
15/100
Me: Hi, I'd like one ticket for Warcraft please.
Ticket guy: Did you bring your strategy guide?
Me: Wait, what?
Ticket guy: Have you played The Burning Crusade and Wrath of The lich King?
Me: Waitwaitwait...slow down.
Ticket guy: What about Cataclysm, Mists of Pandaria, and Warlords of Draenor?
Me: I don't even know what a Draenor is.
Ticket guy: Are you excited for Legion?
Me: Is that based on the demon movie with Dennis Quaid?
*Ticket guy sighs, rips ticket, and points the way towards the auditorium*
Ticket guy: Good luck.
87
Setting: Marvel Board Meeting
Kevin: "And then I said, we already put in 3 end-credits scenes, how about 2 more?!?"
*eruptive laughter*
Marvel Exec #2: "You're such a card, Kevin."
Kevin: "These movies don't make themselves!"
Marvel Exec #3: "Well I mean they kinda do. That's why we installed that conveyer belt in northern Idaho and everything."
Kevin: "You got me there!"
*Meeting Room door opens*
Kevin: "Well look who it is, our crazy director intern, come in James."…
