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  • The Florida Project

    The Florida Project



    Me before my second viewing of The Florida Project: "I probably won't cry this time."

    Me after my second viewing of The Florida Project: "THE ENTIRETY OF MY FEELINGS HAVE MELTED AND GONE INTO MY SOCKS!"

    Really responded to the spatial maneuverings this time around - how around every corner is an adventure and a surprise, even though it may be a horrifying sight.

  • The Babysitter

    The Babysitter



    Truly a strange beast. Conforms to its genre just enough for the goofs and overt comedic elements to click. Had a lot of fun, although it's so much like bubble gum it gives me a cavity - simple, delicious, disposable. Save it for a Friday night.

Popular reviews

  • Warcraft



    Me: Hi, I'd like one ticket for Warcraft please.

    Ticket guy: Did you bring your strategy guide?

    Me: Wait, what?

    Ticket guy: Have you played The Burning Crusade and Wrath of The lich King?

    Me: Waitwaitwait...slow down.

    Ticket guy: What about Cataclysm, Mists of Pandaria, and Warlords of Draenor?

    Me: I don't even know what a Draenor is.

    Ticket guy: Are you excited for Legion?

    Me: Is that based on the demon movie with Dennis Quaid?

    *Ticket guy sighs, rips ticket, and points the way towards the auditorium*

    Ticket guy: Good luck.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2



    Setting: Marvel Board Meeting

    Kevin: "And then I said, we already put in 3 end-credits scenes, how about 2 more?!?"

    *eruptive laughter*

    Marvel Exec #2: "You're such a card, Kevin."

    Kevin: "These movies don't make themselves!"

    Marvel Exec #3: "Well I mean they kinda do. That's why we installed that conveyer belt in northern Idaho and everything."

    Kevin: "You got me there!"

    *Meeting Room door opens*

    Kevin: "Well look who it is, our crazy director intern, come in James."…