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  • The Mask

    The Mask

    ★★★½

    65

    Milo is a better performer than most actors.

  • The Ring

    The Ring

    ★★★★½

    86

    Conventionally unsettling when necessary (the "I saw her face." scare is still surprising, and it chills the blood), but the main tension is found in the attachment to what we watch, and how the screens of entertainment and information soon become the primary viewing devices of our lives. The Ring is precedent in that it's essentially about individuals influenced by the images and messages they consume, thus revealing the analog stimuli they're being fed and causing a final stand…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    ★★★★½

    87

    Setting: Marvel Board Meeting

    Kevin: "And then I said, we already put in 3 end-credits scenes, how about 2 more?!?"

    *eruptive laughter*

    Marvel Exec #2: "You're such a card, Kevin."

    Kevin: "These movies don't make themselves!"

    Marvel Exec #3: "Well I mean they kinda do. That's why we installed that conveyer belt in northern Idaho and everything."

    Kevin: "You got me there!"

    *Meeting Room door opens*

    Kevin: "Well look who it is, our crazy director intern, come in James."…

  • Warcraft

    Warcraft

    15/100

    Me: Hi, I'd like one ticket for Warcraft please.

    Ticket guy: Did you bring your strategy guide?

    Me: Wait, what?

    Ticket guy: Have you played The Burning Crusade and Wrath of The lich King?

    Me: Waitwaitwait...slow down.

    Ticket guy: What about Cataclysm, Mists of Pandaria, and Warlords of Draenor?

    Me: I don't even know what a Draenor is.

    Ticket guy: Are you excited for Legion?

    Me: Is that based on the demon movie with Dennis Quaid?

    *Ticket guy sighs, rips ticket, and points the way towards the auditorium*

    Ticket guy: Good luck.