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  • The Neon Demon

    The Neon Demon

    ★★★★

    80

    Refn's ultimate non-logic effort- a batshit neon fantasy splattered by the threatening hues of colors and carnal pleasures locked up in our own private mansions. Every image is of an inviting world, and alienation still reigns, suffocating physical space throughout, a "closed set" offering both claustrophobia and freedom for the audience: sex with the lights off. Just like Sarah at the film's deco-monstrosity conclusion, Refn bit off more than he could chew, although in his case, I'd rather have…

  • Antiporno

    Antiporno

    ★★★½

    70

    Cut!

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    ★★★★½

    87

    Setting: Marvel Board Meeting

    Kevin: "And then I said, we already put in 3 end-credits scenes, how about 2 more?!?"

    *eruptive laughter*

    Marvel Exec #2: "You're such a card, Kevin."

    Kevin: "These movies don't make themselves!"

    Marvel Exec #3: "Well I mean they kinda do. That's why we installed that conveyer belt in northern Idaho and everything."

    Kevin: "You got me there!"

    *Meeting Room door opens*

    Kevin: "Well look who it is, our crazy director intern, come in James."…

  • Warcraft

    Warcraft

    15/100

    Me: Hi, I'd like one ticket for Warcraft please.

    Ticket guy: Did you bring your strategy guide?

    Me: Wait, what?

    Ticket guy: Have you played The Burning Crusade and Wrath of The lich King?

    Me: Waitwaitwait...slow down.

    Ticket guy: What about Cataclysm, Mists of Pandaria, and Warlords of Draenor?

    Me: I don't even know what a Draenor is.

    Ticket guy: Are you excited for Legion?

    Me: Is that based on the demon movie with Dennis Quaid?

    *Ticket guy sighs, rips ticket, and points the way towards the auditorium*

    Ticket guy: Good luck.