Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 ★★★★½

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Setting: Marvel Board Meeting

Kevin: "And then I said, we already put in 3 end-credits scenes, how about 2 more?!?"

*eruptive laughter*

Marvel Exec #2: "You're such a card, Kevin."

Kevin: "These movies don't make themselves!"

Marvel Exec #3: "Well I mean they kinda do. That's why we installed that conveyer belt in northern Idaho and everything."

Kevin: "You got me there!"

*Meeting Room door opens*

Kevin: "Well look who it is, our crazy director intern, come in James."

Marvel Exec #4: "Excuse me, Kevin, but who is this?"

Kevin: "This, ladies and gentlemen, was the director on Guardians of the Galaxy, a movie which we allowed to be somewhat creative and it payed off! I bought my sixth beach house with the profits! What's on your mind, James?"

James: "Um, Kevin, I just wanted to let you know that I found something in the backroom."

Kevin: "Listen, everyone knows about my pet alligator, don't worry. She's fine if you feed her."

James: "No no, not that. I found this bin full of markers and paints and brushes and it inspired me to make Vol. 2 in the same way as a splash-panel. It's going to be full of energy and color and wacky flourishes. There's going to be time-jumps and skeleton faces and squid monster thingies and, of course, an eclectic soundtrack."

Kevin: "I don't know about this. Is it going to be faithful to the comics?"

James: "Fuck yeah it is. You just haven't been using the weirdest parts of Marvel even when you should (*cough cough Doctor Strange cough cough*)."

Kevin: "Are you feeling well, James? I can put the Russo Brothers on the movie, they do everything for us and bow to our whim."

James: "I'll be fine, don't you worry. Oh, and also, I had this great idea of blocking actors in the frame while showcasing a dynamic camera, coherently stitching together action scenes, and molding CGI in Romantic, careful fashion through inspired comedic, fantastical, and even melancholic set-pieces - is that in your comfort zone?"

Kevin: "I don't know what any of that means, but sure. Is Baby Groot going to be in it?"

James: "Of course."

Kevin: "Good. Good. Everyone loves Baby Groot."

Marvel Exec #5: "I don't, particularly."

Kevin: "Get the fuck out of here, Tanner."