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  • Another Day in Paradise

    Another Day in Paradise

    ★★

    It really sucks when you watch a movie you used to love and it's not nearly as good as you remember it.

  • Mommy Dead and Dearest

    Mommy Dead and Dearest

    ★★★½

    So how long now until we get the movie adaptation starring Melissa McCarthy as DeeDee?

  • In a Valley of Violence

    In a Valley of Violence

    ★★

    It's like the western version of John Wick. Only not as good, featuring an annoying girl, and Ethan Hawke's a pussy.

    Can someone point me in the direction of a Ti West movie that's actually good? Hard to understand the hype behind this guy.

  • Da Sweet Blood of Jesus

    Da Sweet Blood of Jesus

    ★★

    These relationships? Messy.

    This storytelling? Messy.

    These plot holes? Messy.

    These continuity errors? Messy.

    Spike Lee? He a messy bitch.

  • Don't Breathe

    Don't Breathe

    ★★★★½

    So was this movie basically an audience tape for Stephen Lang to play Stick in a Daredevil movie or Cable in a Deadpool movie?

    Either way, Stephen Lang needs to play someone in the Marvel Universe.

  • When the Bough Breaks

    When the Bough Breaks

    This is one of those movies that's hard to rate because it isn't bad, but it isn't good either.

    Like, it's a harmless movie. It doesn't do anything inherently bad, nothing too annoying, and its not terrible. On the other hand, it doesn't do much to entertain either. Performances aren't bad (I suppose Jaz Sinclair is better than I expected considering it's supposed to be her film debut), it's formulaic, and it doesn't do anything plot wise that hasn't been…

  • Play Misty for Me

    Play Misty for Me

    ★★★

    Now I see why they got Jessica Walter to play Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development.

  • The Wood

    The Wood

    ★★★★★

    I never realized this until now, but I think The Wood might be my favorite coming of age movie.

    There aren't many films out there which speak to the black childhood experience. That isn't to say that it's hard for me to relate to a coming of age tale if it isn't told from the point of view of black characters, but for me, the black voice is a distinctly told and unquestionably recognizable one at that. In short, the…

  • Down to Earth

    Down to Earth

    ★★★

    It's weird to think that the same guys who made this move also made American Pie, Twilight: New Moon, Grandma, and A Better Life.

  • Adulterers

    Adulterers

    Dear Netflix,

    Recommending movies like this to me is why I cheat on you with Hulu and FilmStruck. Stop recommending me trash or I'll leave you.

    Sincerely,
    A concerned customer.

  • Lucas Brothers: On Drugs

    Lucas Brothers: On Drugs

    ★★★½

    Fuck Richard Nixon.

  • Batman: The Killing Joke

    Batman: The Killing Joke

    ★½

    How can such a good graphic novel get adapted into such a trash film?