• Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★★½

    Keep your eye on the whole, not the bagel.

  • Moon Knight

    Moon Knight

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Still think it's a huge miss that Steven didn't deal the finishing blow to Ammit with a signature "Laters, gators!", but you can't have it all.

  • Exodus: Gods and Kings

    Exodus: Gods and Kings

    ★★

    There's of course the absolute insult of Ridley on his worst press junket of all time admitting that he's culpable and definitely part of the white-washing problem, but that might have been dampened by any sort of real awe or spectacle that he clearly wanted to inspire with this. Instead, I don't think there's a single other Ridley joint that's duller than this, just an aggressively underlit wash of blues and greys in the dust and dirt of Ancient Egypt.…

  • Jackass 4.5

    Jackass 4.5

    ★★★★

    There’s something so pitiless and hilarious about the guys sitting down to have COVID protocols read to them, only for the table they’re sitting at to career into the air propelled by a bouncy castle, and to then eat sushi ‘cooked’ in Zach Holmes’ crevices and puke through their masks.

    salutewailing.gif

  • Vortex

    Vortex

    ★★★★★

    Been a bit scared of writing a review of this all week, about the inability for words to capture something this intense and upsetting, so I’ll just leave it at that because that’s all you really need to know.

  • Morbius

    Morbius

    Casting Tyrese Gibson as a tortured, brooding FBI agent is absolutely hilarious, man has RANGE

  • Entertainment

    Entertainment

    ★★★½

    Seeing this five bag comedian in October, can’t wait to get roasted as hard as Amy Seimetz does in this.

  • The Turin Horse

    The Turin Horse

    ★★★★★

    The laser-focused misery here got to me immediately, and sat on my chest like a sleep paralysis demon until it was done and satisfied. Just proves that Tarr can work gangbusters if you’re in the right mood.

    (yes, that might mean Satantango is getting another go)

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Beast-mode Raimi making his Last Jedi in what should have by rights been a full-blown cameo fest...but is instead something so much crueller, darker and goofier. I'm almost glad we've gotten No Way Home out of our system now, because I would find it a little exhausting if every single second of these movies was gearing us up for a bigger audience cheer every time we see a recognisable face or ability, because what Multiverse of Madness shows is that's…

  • Dr. No

    Dr. No

    ★★★

    It's fascinating to see something this iconic so unrefined, particularly since all I've seen from this franchise is the last ten that all had fluctuating levels of grit. This is as flimsy as can be, a blueprint of a character so unburdened by backstory that absolutely nothing fazes him, and with so little emotional baggage that he frequently stops for sex breaks amidst some highly-important spy work. It felt oddly strange to see all this without gadgets heavily involved in…

  • Ambulance

    Ambulance

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Earthshatteringly intense. I can't recall Bay being more propulsive or dynamic as this, especially since he's a filmmaker that loves the big picture, warts and all. There is perhaps a bigger picture here than it needs to be, and its edges often feel like a David Ayer film, full of obnoxious banter and posturing cholos. But Ayer would never dare to lean as hard into the impressionistic action Bay is attempting here, completely indulging in his trademark brand of spacial…

  • Spider-Man 3

    Spider-Man 3

    ★★★½

    I think Bully Maguire might honestly be my favourite thing out of any of these movies (maybe even my favourite iteration of Spider-Man overall: SEE YA CHUMP *BOING*), but yeesh, I really was forgiving of some other background stuff here in the past. There are strong parts of each of the villains' arcs that are completely overwhelmed by the inability to balance any of them against one another, and it's perhaps James Franco who gets thrown under the bus hardest.…