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  • The Matrix

    The Matrix

    ★★★½

    “My name... is Neo,”

  • Blood and Black Lace

    Blood and Black Lace

    ★★★★

    It’s a true testament to the aesthetic mastery of the film that I was able to focus mostly on the godlike camerawork and phantasmagorical color scheme more than the cast of obscenely hot people with cheekbones higher than the goddamn stratosphere.

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  • Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    ★½

    I did not care for this remake of ‘Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed’ at all.

  • Knives Out

    Knives Out

    ★★★★★

    Rian Johnson writing the ‘Knives Out’ screenplay: 

    “HOES MAD
    HOES MAD
    HOES MAD
    HOES MAD
    HOES MAD
    HOES MAD
    H O E S  M A D,”

    My entire crowd applauded. I want eight more Benoit Blanc mystery films where he and De Armas team up to solve crimes. Ana de Armas drives this bitch like she stole it. 

    Hail to the motherfuckin’ king, bitches.