John and the Hole

John and the Hole β˜…

Possibly the "whitest" movie that I've ever seen. Omfg. πŸ˜‚

Imagine an aggressively bland cross between We Need to Talk About Kevin and Home Alone, but created by someone born with a silver spoon who grew up sheltered and emo.

Infinitely more laughable than "chilling."
Infinitely more hollow than insightful.

I found this to be frustratingly nebulous and underwhelming. Maybe it's just me - I can't comprehend rich people logic, nor can I relate to white entitlement, so that makes me doubly disconnected from the bullshit concerns, priorities, motivations, and rationalizations girding the narrative.

This whole thing felt like a masturbatory parody of "rich white people problems," but executed unironically.

And holy-fucking-shit the resolution after "everything" that transpired - ugh. Nah. My dad would've shot my ass, my mom would've hid my body, and my sister would've figured out a solid alibi for them all to rock with. πŸ˜’

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