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  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    ★½

    Hot take: The original Lion King isn't one of the best movies ever made.

    Dramatically less hot take: This one, however, is pretty damn bad.

    To be perfectly honest, I haven't watched the original in several years, so that first sentiment could just be my edgy 15-year old self talking, but I remember enough to know that this remake (or whatever) adds practically nothing, and instead takes everything.

    If I had to boil the problem with this movie down to…

  • Jaws

    Jaws

    ★★★★★

    Jaws features AT LEAST 3 of the top 5 jump-scares in movie history, and I honestly think we should stop trying to beat that.

    Even though the right thing doesn't always feel or seem right at first, we're all seeking justice deep down, no matter how we choose to act on it. It's the greatest adventure ever put to screen, and will always be one of the greats in general. Looks even better compared to the sequels.

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  • The Train

    The Train

    ★★★★

    French Resistance Fighters continuously aim to prevent a Nazi General from hijacking dozens of paintings for Germany, just before the Allies arrive in France. It's one of the most exciting and suspenseful thrillers I've seen in a long time, but I was even more amazed at the character work on display. Though fighting for completely different causes, the differences between Burt Lancaster and Paul Schofield are minuscule, clarified only by Schofield's misplaced ego and lack of regard for human life.…

  • Big Top Pee-wee

    Big Top Pee-wee

    "You make me want to puke"

    -Jean-Paul Belmondo's dying words to Jean Seberg in Breathless, and also me from the 5-minute mark onward during this movie

    Pee-Wee Herman is the last person I'd expect to be pointlessly turned into a manipulative scumbag, but these are dark times. Actively drove me insane. I probably won't care in a week.

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  • Reservoir Dogs

    Reservoir Dogs

    ★★★★★

    I gave this movie a 4.5 the last time I saw it.

    What the hell was I thinking?

    It never ceases to amaze me how this movie is so great and was made for so little. I also can't believe this is only my 4th favorite Tarantino movie.

  • Arrival

    Arrival

    ★★★★★

    Within 8 seconds, I was in love again. I think this is the only movie, other than Pulp Fiction, that I've watched twice within two months.