Zack Snyder's Justice League

Zack Snyder's Justice League ★★

In the mid 2000's a group of nerds desperate to defend the Star Wars prequels rebranded autuer to mean "guy who directs massively budgeted films that happen to be somehow even more incoherent than other big budget studio films."
Anyway there was a remake/expansion of the Justice League movie most sane people forgot about. It's longer than Lawrence of Arabia because a big monster with horns keeps talking about the same thing over and over to a melting statue and half the action scenes are in immediately post Matrix era slow motion. The plot is standard comic book movie plot. Get the things that will blow up earth before the bad guys do. There are the standard light beam that shoots up to the sky things. There are pissed of space monsters. The Flash is there and is basically all the worst aspects of Marvel movies made flesh and inspires thoughts of sterilizing the human race. Batman looks like he is wearing a neck brace the entire time. Amy Adams says maybe 4 lines. The father of one of the main characters kills himself in front of his son for absolutely no reason just like in Man of Steel which is a really odd theme to put in your movies. In the first half the big horn guy covered in spikes throws a bunch of horse and its very funny. Highpoint of the film.
They will never let us outside again. Movies will never exist again. Hopefully this will be the last blockbuster ever made. It's what we deserve.

Still miles better than Wonder Woman 84

Slig liked this review