I, Tonya

I, Tonya ★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Film 69 (69, dude!)

The movie features iconic jams and iconic Janney, but still fails at its message of sympathizing Tonya for me. The whole “you all created me bc you wanted a villain” or whatever is ice surface-level deflection and the movie knows this. It knows that all of its characters are full of shit and chooses to air all sides of the storylines (who are they: Michael Barbaro?) of an approach like The Last Dance where MJ demands that he be worshiped like a God and the director allows the MJ-myths to fester in their own BS. This is fine, but I can’t forgive the ending shot of Tonya triumphantly getting up from a pool of her own blood. Oh please. Tonya’s no Captain America fighting against Nazis and no Rocky Balboa.


—the breaking the fourth wall thing didn’t work for me. They didn’t commit to the bit enough.

—Margot Robbie, pretending to be Tonya Harding, got docked for presentation by the judges !!??!!! Not buying it. Also the older version of Sebastian Stan looks like a hybrid of Michael Shannon and Matt Damon and he remains ridiculously handsome. Keep in mind that I am a mere bison.

—Allison Janney saying “She’s a soft 4” to the instructor ala disgusting college/FaceMatch Mark Zuckerberg will never not be despicable, funny as hell, and iconic.

—Margot Robbie saying “Suck my dick” to the judges is my new 2020 banner quote. Thanks,  I Tonya


I will celebrate my 1000th film with accompanying trivia about the USA’s national mammal, The Bison, my temp profile pic, because why not. 

Also this is my first spoiler review, so yay??

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