Kong: Skull Island

Kong: Skull Island ★★★½

The Podcast Macabre 2021 Horror Challenge

25. Featuring King Kong
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Yeah I enjoy kino.

K-ong
I-s
N-oble
O-ver-sized monke

Ah the 70's! War.. and... No, I think that is it. Anyhow John Goodman and his BFF go to an ominous skull island to find a big monke. They bring along some military dudes and that woman who all the neckbeards hate for some reason. It is time for a big monke adventure!

I kinda love how their arrival at the island starts all happy and hopeful like "Yay we are going to have so much fun with this adventurous romp" but then Kong shows up from out of nowhere and is all like "You will have nothing and you will like it!". In general I loved the contrast between these people fighting for their lives while Kong is just vibing and occasionally making sure that his idiot friends don't get themselves killed. Of course not all is good vibes and comradery in the world of monke. The skullcrawlers (I love that it is canon that someone named them that because it sounds cool) are a race of subterranean lizards who hate Kong so much that they murdered his family. Will the combined forces of Kong and the mediocre human characters manage to defeat this reptilic menace? Yeah probably..

So I loved any scene that involved Kong or any of the other mega creatures on Skull Island. This Kong is far removed from the sad romantic who died in a warcrime during his New York vacation. I love how Kong's introduction here is him casually massacring a bunch of military helicopters, a nice contrast to the more conventional Kong who didn't do very well against aircrafts. They still keep the plot about him being a god to the people living at skull island but it is given some more meat here, with him being the only thing standing a chance against the monstrous skullcrawlers who would naturally be a bad time for tiny humans.

My main problem here is that the storyline with the humans is so dumb. Most of the runtime is dedicated to the military dudes forcing everyone to partake in a rescue mission for one single soldier who was last seen crashing at the opposite side of the island. Not only is it idiotic to risk everyone's life because of one single person (who you haven't even heard anything from since he crashed) but also, if you trust this guy's survival skills so much then why not just escape and send in a rescue mission later? To be fair that whole plotline evolves a bit but even then I don't buy it that nobody would just overthrow the asshole who sent everyone on that suicide mission. The saving grace of the human plotline is really John C. Reilly, who plays the role of a WWII soldier who has just been chilling out on Skull Island ever since he crashed there in the 1940s. Him just casually dropping some comic relief among all the super serious soldier types and whatever was a nice change of pace.

This was dumb as shit.. But! Have you considered monke?

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