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  • The Dead Don't Die

    The Dead Don't Die

    ★★

    please grandpa jarmusch tell us the one about gameboys and Snapple

  • Booksmart

    Booksmart

    ★★

    woke Superbad

    + better soundtrack
    + Sudexis and Williams
    - humor
    - funny lines
    - characters
    - everything really

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  • Transsiberian

    Transsiberian

    ★★★½

    Starts off like a modern-day "The Lady Vanishes" and then bounces jerkily around before ending up as a somewhat standard thriller that teeters on the brink of Generic Action Movie at the end but pulls back. The whole thing is rather sloppy and relies on a combination of extreme contrivance (oh no drugs are falling out of my backpack! please don't look at the next picture on my camera!) and bafflingly stupid actions from Emily Mortimer (going off into the…

  • Project X

    Project X

    ½

    This will make you hate:
    (a) yourself for watching it
    (b) every entitled asshole character and America in general
    (c) the world for letting it exist; the state of humanity
    (d) ALL OF THE ABOVE

    If you like this movie--even "ironically"--you need to be fucking destroyed.