Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice ★★½

This movie is so forgetful that I forgot everyone that was even in it before I watched it. I’ve been putting off watching it so long that it didn’t dawn (pun intended) on me until minutes before it began that Amy Adams was in it. Then it all came back to me. I was about to see Batfleck, the almost always insufferable Jesse Eisenberg, the overall displeasure of watching a Zac Snyder movie--you get the idea. Then I took a deep breath--do it for gritty batman but more importantly do it for Amy Adams--the wonder woman of my heart--and real Wonder Woman.

I did it. I watched it. Technically I watched it twice because I watched it the first time and was so bored I completely zoned out twenty minutes in after I saw Amy Adams having a conversation naked in a bathtub that she could have easily just have had sitting in a chair working on an article. BUT I DIGRESS--so basically I watched it again and paid a lot more attention. Still zoned out for at least the majority of the end because who cares honestly. It seemed pretty fun though. I just don’t care about Superman at all as a character. I’d rather watch homoerotic Henry Cavill in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. any day.

Here are some very brief notes about what I did not zone out on and what I felt was even worth commenting on:

- My favorite thing about when people depict trauma (aka Batman’s reliving the attack) is the use of slow-mo. It’s an attempt to demonstrate an altered state, which is totally valid, but anyone who’s experienced trauma knows that your mind doesn't usually remember it so vividly--certainly not as vividly as a slow-motion reimagining which accentuates each painful event. It’s not because that moment isn’t their in your memories but because your mind won’t let you remember it.

- I will never say I hate Snyder, mostly because I haven’t seen Watchmen yet, but I just don’t get that dude. Thus far I’ve felt he’s been pretty sucky (see: Sucker Punch and Man of Steel). His dark, ominous aesthetic is fine but his storytelling and worldbuilding is so frustrating it makes me feel like one of those Christians in Silence being hung upside down while I slowly bleed to death.

- Again--and I quote directly from my notes--“why the hell is she in a goddamn bathtub???”

- Some people are unapologetic Christopher Nolan fanboys. I am an unapologetic Hans Zimmer fanboy. But like a girl. (DROOOOONE--bum-chhhhh--chhhhh---DROOOONE)

- I know Junkie XL helped with the score but the film literally turned into Fury Road for like dos seconds when Batman was having the weird dream, vision and it made me want to turn that on instead.

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