Now it's dark
ANALOG OR DEATH. 8 BIT IS THE SHIT.
Joe Carnahan's live action videogame had me wanting to skip the cut scenes with all their bloated and silly exposition. Ironically this might be the most repetitive and redundant in the whole Live.Die.Repeat subgenre that has emerged since the grandly overrated Groundhog Day set the mold. Naomi Watts turns up in one of the more thankless roles she's ever had. Quite disposable, despite having some good performances and occasionally decent dialogue. Since…
A Charles Band company kid flick from the director of the awesome Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys. The movie starts off pretty cool with all the remote control gadgets and the school bullies vs. geek squad routine. It's a letdown when it settles into an auto pilot knock-off Home Alone with screen time devoted mostly to a trio of "bumbling burglars." Although, Miami Vice's John Diehl and his cohorts (including the massive Tony Longo) do their best with the slapstick…
Blissfully gritty and violent combination of pulp action and neo noir. It's the strongest in a string of distinguished work since Schwarzenegger has returned to movies. This is David Ayer's uncompromising reaction to The Expendables and it's not for wimps. Olivia Williams and Mireille Enos turn in exciting gender-defying performances as the hard-boiled women trapped in this nightmare of throbbing, reckless machismo.
Hollywood really seems to want to fuck fish lately. Aren't we even getting a rehash of The Little Mermaid soon?
The saddest truth is that Aquaman is no longer just an Entourage gag. It's now an actual joke that imagines James Cameron's Avatar as it might've been cloned by George Lucas during his prequel phase. The filmmakers seem to reference Lucas's empire multiple times, especially with all the political mumbo jumbo and silly underwater creatures. Hell, we even get Django…