Black Christmas

Black Christmas

Imagine feeding a million woke tweets into an AI and then getting that AI drunk on White Claw and then forcing it to write a script and you have some idea of the BLACK CHRISTMAS experience.

It’s just dramatically inert, with buzzword-laden screeds in the place of dialogue (“not all men” and Camille Paglia get angry shout outs, so you know it was written by someone who is Very On Twitter), a PG-13 rating neutering any chance of being terrified by the writing, and the occasional jump scare substituting for actual terror. 

I try to find something small to enjoy in every movie, but not even Cary Elwes as a murderous professor could light up the screen. 

Holy shit what a disaster.

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