Mirror ★★★★★

the world holds secrets. secrets we will never know.

they lie there, warm, cosy, hidden away, but what about me? can i not know them? can i not hear their cries, their joy, their pain?

all is so silent. 

it kills me! - that silence - it kills me! - The Silence - it kills me! - Silence.

those leaves - they love to leave. i hold onto them, pulling them close, but they crumble away in my arms, their remains scattered across my lap - why do they crumble?

the years have crumbled over me now. i don’t trust time any longer - i don’t trust my mind.

who’s to say that the past has occurred? who’s to say the future ever will?

perhaps i can change the future, perhaps my thoughts are enough to alter its course; but, if i can change it so simply, with the wisp of a hand to the wind-filled air, then what is it truly? 

as i once thought: fate offered direction. now, all seems so ridiculous. fate? the only fate i’ve experienced is borne upon my own stupidity.

i miss the warmth of the fire at night. i miss the feeling of my heart thumping against my chest when i feared the ghost’s return. i miss the ache of my legs after running from the cracking twigs deep in the woods.

i miss them, but why can i not have them back?

tomorrow i will return to work, but why can i not return to that fire, that bed, that forest? why? take me… someone take me. i can go. work is nothing. those memories are my life.

fate would tell me: tomorrow is work.

what does one do when they reach the point of foreseeing their own fate?

perhaps i may find a clean slate, or even a broken window, just enough for me to tape back it’s essence, to bring it back to life. 

i can hear my heart beating now, but i can’t feel it anymore. 

if i change the future, the world is mine. if i go home tomorrow, if i fight fate, the world is mine. 

if i finally give in, 
(if i drop my hat to the fire),
if i sweep my heart to the lakes, 
(if i place my mind in the forests),
i may see that,

i am the world.

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