I have found the bottom of the fish barrel. 6 Headed Shark Attack and Ouiji Shark will always hold the title. I say this a lot, but this might be the worst movie I've ever seen.
I wanted to watch something stupid to kill time until the weekend, but instead this made my sucky work week far worse. This makes all of the Sharknado movies seem like Ben Hur. God, please let the weekend come so I don't have to endure anymore!
It started with an eye roll. Jared Leto walked on set to Requiem for a Dream and immediately started singing, “You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” Shooter Magavin gave him the finger guns, and a wink as Jared pretentiously sang Lennon. Ellen Burstyn pretended her hearing aid wasn’t working. Marlon Wayans was too pumped up to be in an actual serious movie to care, Mark Margolis from Breaking Bad started ringing a bell…
The Boring Identity.
Part of the Netflix algorithm formula for success action trilogy. Follow the CIA's most generic, good looking, one line quipping floppy dick as he beds, shoots, and runs his way to 'oh yeah i think i watched that but I already forgot' on Netflix. Stay tuned for the next two in this series: the Boring Ultimatem, and the Boring Supremacy.
Don’t Breathe 2 and the Chamber of Turkey Basters
Don’t Breathe 3 and the Prisoner of Blind Rapists
Don’t Breathe 4 and the Goblet of Semen
Don’t Breathe 5 and Order of the Baster
Don’t Breathe 6 and the Half-Blood Turkey Baster
Don’t Breathe 7 and the Deathly Ejaculate Part 1
Don’t Breathe 8 and the Deathly Ejaculate Part 2
Franchise!
