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  • Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

    Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

    ★★★

    Before today I'd only seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and the new shitty one (you can tell how shitty it is by the way I'm not even sure what the name of it is). Anyway, I always used to think Marion was the most annoying bitch of a damsel ever.... and then I met Willie.

    Oh and Short Round gets his own star.

  • The Blair Witch Project

    The Blair Witch Project

    ★★★★★

    The embodiment of the unsettlingly eerie entity of pure terror.

    The Blair Witch Project invokes primal fear with little more than literal sticks and rocks. If this was shown to me prior to age 12 I would have psychological trauma.

    This movie makes you feel the exact kind of reaction that drove mankind to make narrative moving pictures. Fireside stories in ancient tribes had the same purpose.

    I'm shook. I need some dog videos before I go to bed or I'm going to have some vivid and bizarre dreams.

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  • The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club

    ★★★★

    for years upon years ive always wondered about old peoples fascination with this movie and that shaggy guy with a birdnose and baggy clothes pumping his fist in the air.
    i get it now.

  • Inception

    Inception

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING. HOW. I'M SO MAD.
    You would think after watching a movie with dream after dream after dream inside dream etc. I would have been able to predict an ending like that. He started to spin the top and I was like aw yay he saw his kids' faces it must be real!!!! But nope. Nope. Nope. My dreams just had to be crushed (pun not intended).
    I hate this movie, but I also…