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  • Lady in the Water

    Lady in the Water

    ½

    I feel like the success of The Sixth Sense drove M. Night Shyamalan into feeling a make-believe pressure to try super hard with more films even if he can't produce another idea as equally good, so he ended up making like 5 or 6 garbage movies he thought were deep or something that were just absolutely bold-faced sellout movies that no audiences thought were good. Lady in the Water is like number 3 or 4 of those.

  • mother!

    mother!

    ★★★★

    The correct process by which to experience mother! is to watch it once, with no prior context or research, go home very confused and google what the hell you just saw, then come back and watch a second time while actually understanding what you are seeing. Any other method of viewing the movie will simply not yield the mindblowing results you know you're hoping for.

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  • The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club

    ★★★★

    for years upon years ive always wondered about old peoples fascination with this movie and that shaggy guy with a birdnose and baggy clothes pumping his fist in the air.
    i get it now.

  • Inception

    Inception

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING. HOW. I'M SO MAD.
    You would think after watching a movie with dream after dream after dream inside dream etc. I would have been able to predict an ending like that. He started to spin the top and I was like aw yay he saw his kids' faces it must be real!!!! But nope. Nope. Nope. My dreams just had to be crushed (pun not intended).
    I hate this movie, but I also…