Wait, what? You're saying this is one of the big masterpieces? One of those list-toppers? That it's been loved and hailed for 80 years? Wow, that's fascinating.
Then how come it's so fucking boring?
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Licorice Pizza 2021
As years go by, they keep wearing down and rebuilding their armor against each other, skipping around between various love interests, until they suddenly one day wake up to realize there was never any other love meant to be but the one between each other.
Like me and the My Little Pony cartoons.
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Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw 2019
This felt like a cheap (morally, not production-wise) cash grab spin-off that Iβm not sure really needed to be made. But screw that, I was definitely entertained! The dynamics between the two title characters work really well, and the dialogue is snappier and funnier than in the FF main series. Loved some of he new characters (Vanessa Kirby, Ryan Reynolds) and canβt wait to see how this will evolve.
Hereβs to another 200 movies in the franchise!
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The Fate of the Furious 2017
Yikes. Yet another movie in the neverending FF franchise. This one is bigger, louder, over-the-toppier and stupider than ever. And I fucking LOVE it!
Theyβve really come a long way since that very first film, that pointless testosterone-pumped street racing rubbish. Back then the films were outright boring, even offensive how bad they were. Now though, this has become one of my favorite action franchises!
Of course. It requires you to disable every inch of good taste and craving forβ¦
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Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 2022
On a trippyness scale from one to ten, this one is 14,000,605. Itβs an insane mix of super hero action, humor and Sam Raimiβs finest horror. And on top of that a bunch of cameos and twists that made me wanna scream out my loudest insanity scream (which of course I didnβt, only idiots scream in movie theaters).Β
Throwing in an extra half star for the musical fight. That was freaking beautiful, and any film with a regular boring fist fight will have half a star deducted to compensate, starting now.
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Everything Everywhere All at Once 2022
Extremely competent film. Extremely beautiful film. Extremely funny film. And if you're even the slightest drowsy, it's also extremely hard to wrap your head around.
I will give this one another chance some day when I'm more awake, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if I realise this is a jackpot and give it a full score.
