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  • Hunting Emma

    Hunting Emma

    ★★★½

    It's Under Siege, but instead of Steven Seagal as a cook...she's a sexy school teacher in a tank top.

    If you've seen any action movie in the last 150 years, you know that chicks in tank tops are the baddest of asses.

    (easily my most favorite movie in Afrikaans)

  • Blockers

    Blockers

    ½

    Imagine the worst made-for-tv Nickelodeon movie about prom night...this is almost better than that.

    Hard pass.

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  • The Greatest Showman

    The Greatest Showman

    ★★★★

    Kudos to the movie makers who took a hundred terrible ideas and spun them into GOLD!

  • Ready Player One

    Ready Player One

    As an 80s nerd, I really wanted to like this.
    If you're mutha-friggin' Spielberg and resort to stealing from Tron, the Matrix, Willy Wonka, Hackers, Cloud Atlas, and mutha-friggin' Wreck it Ralph; I expect much much much better. How could he make such a movie with such lame plot devices and paper-thin characters?

    And Art3mis was the real hero, not whiny fanboi Anakin Parcival.
    #SoMuchWastedPotential

    P.S. The one star in my rating is that at least it was better than That Warcraft movie.