*read in your inner-White-Voice*: This is what happens when you combine about half a dozen Mad TV sketches and tell America it's a movie instead. *yawn*
Things I overheard as the credits rolled (while the audience wiped their tears):
"Damn, Bradley Cooper is a charmer."
"...I was wondering why he sounded just like Sam Elliott."
"I didn't know he could sing."
"I didn't know she could sing."
"Well, I sure need a drink now."
"I can't believe Andrew Dice Clay is a better actor than Lady Gaga."
As an 80s nerd, I really wanted to like this.
If you're mutha-friggin' Spielberg and resort to stealing from Tron, the Matrix, Willy Wonka, Hackers, Cloud Atlas, and mutha-friggin' Wreck it Ralph; I expect much much much better. How could he make such a movie with such lame plot devices and paper-thin characters?
And Art3mis was the real hero, not whiny fanboi Anakin Parcival.
P.S. The one star in my rating is that at least it was better than That Warcraft movie.