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  • 12 Dog Days Till Christmas

    12 Dog Days Till Christmas


    obviously this movie is terrible, but it (a) didn’t offend me in the way that most terrible movies do, and (b) has some relatively cute moments, most of which involve dogs and not humans. plus, my critical tastes have gone to shit, so i’m basically giving everything a pass nowadays.

  • Oh, Hello: On Broadway

    Oh, Hello: On Broadway


    Sung in the style of Steely Dan’s “FM”:

    “Sweet Rosalie, she's working at the five & dime
    Train back to Hackensack with rosemary wine
    Yo-deedle doidle dee
    We both love to do cocaine”

Popular reviews

  • Affliction



    I frankly realize that Affliction will never be mentioned in the ongoing conversation concerning the ‘greatest films ever’—which, when you consider that I rank it higher than both 2001 and Seven Samurai, only makes this five-star rating completely ridiculous—but I’ll continue to champion it as one of the bleakest, most harrowing domestic dramas—and yes, one of the greatest films—of all time. A bold claim? If it is, then just ignore me.

    Paul Schrader’s televisual directing style has proved time and…

  • Sex and the City 2

    Sex and the City 2


    this is a satire. this has to be a satire. i mean, really, seriously this has just got to be the most subversive, most scathing, most indescribably disturbing satire ever filmed. ever. in the entire history of the medium. had robert altman lived to see this, he would have been scared for his own life. had paddy chayefsky lived to see this, he would have straight killed himself. if this had been shown to george orwell, he would have literally…