I've always dreamed of classic cars and movie screens

Favorite films

  • Mad Max 2
  • The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
  • Frances Ha
  • Attack the Block

Recent activity

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness


  • Thor: Ragnarok


  • The Roosevelts: An Intimate History

  • Dracula Untold


Recent reviews

  • Dracula Untold

    Dracula Untold


    Not a terrible premise for a movie (Dracula's origin as a Game of Thrones-style medieval epic) but gets waylaid by universe-building bullshit. The obviously tagged on final scene is embarrassing in it's lazy attempt to do some MCU shit.

    Sarah Gadon looks hot as hell as a medieval princess. Super goddamn weird that Dominic Cooper plays a Turk.

  • The Black Phone

    The Black Phone


    I really like Joe Hill, so it's a shame that adaptations of his work always suck. The problem here probably started with having one of those ex-Ain't It Cool News doofuses co-write the script. Most of those dudes were sub-literate.

    Anyway, this doesn't make any sense, isn't particularly scary and Hawke's performance feels miscalibrated.

    I liked the little girl playing the younger sister, but the script doesn't do her any favors. She's like, calling cops fart knockers and telling Jesus…

Popular reviews

  • Kill the Irishman

    Kill the Irishman

    This movie is like if the montages from Goodfellas were an hour and forty minutes long. And set in Cleveland. And terrible.

  • The Northman

    The Northman


    Still early, but this feels like the one to beat for 2022. A lot of ink has been spilled about how rare it is for a studio to spend $90m on something this idiosyncratic and alienating. I mean, compared to Eggers' first two features, a Viking revenge saga is an outright crowdpleaser, but the film still feels challenging and thoughtful while also aiming for spectacle and some semblance of popcorn entertainment.

    I'm sure dissertations will be written about Eggers filmography,…