Phil Sternwise

Phil Sternwise

Nobody pays me for MY reviews. Can't ya' tell?

They call it the Dark Side. I guess. Whatever.

Favorite films

  • Mandy
  • Zardoz
  • Turbo Kid
  • Flash Future Kung Fu

Recent activity

  • Ninja Terminator


  • 47 Ronin

  • Wish

  • Doctor Who: The Star Beast


Recent reviews

  • Ninja Terminator

    Ninja Terminator


    Starring BLOOD DEBTS himself, Richard Harrison, this film is so absurd I feel that spoiling it would be bad for anyone interested. But watch for: the Garfield Phone, the toy robot, Clockwork Orange music, music from other movies, strange and impossible ninja powers, lobster crabs, the gold wig, and the amazing 'ninja walk.'

    Yes, you NEED to see this movie.

  • 47 Ronin

    47 Ronin

    The real question isn't how bad this movie is, it is how the hell Netflix gave Carl Rinsch millions of dollars to make a new series.

    Unfortunately for Netflix, the director of this movie stole millions of dollars to buy 5 luxury cars and lose in investments in cryptocurrency, and never made their sci-fi series "Conquest."

    The director is a complete psychopath who deliberately blew the budget on his own personal gains. The story is bigger and more bizarre than…

Popular reviews

  • Aquaman


    No, this isn't gay porn, though this poster looks like it is, it is another ridiculous attempt to turn D.C. comics into movies and television shows which still continues to fail hilariously.

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    I have a bad feeling about this...

    Alan Smithee presents: $tar War$: Plan 9: Rise of the Undead Corpse of the Franchise

    It's like an unfinished movie. It's like a movie that was only half made and then re-made or something… like Justice League… or Solar Crisis… or perhaps the new Fantastic Four...

    The dead speak! (Through computer animated reincarnation). The Franchise's dead corpse is hooked to a life support machine in this "film" which appears to be completely compiled…