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  • The Man Who Killed Don Quixote

    The Man Who Killed Don Quixote

    ★★½

    My initial thoughts on The Man Who Killed Don Quixote: I would really love it if Adam Driver could slap me in the face with his giant cock and leave a mark.

    My final thoughts on The Man Who Killed Don Quixote: Given how long I’ve waited for this movie, and how many years Gilliam spent giving this production everything he had, I would hate to call the end result half-baked, but given the level of ambition I usually associate…

  • Vice

    Vice

    When they showed footage of R*nald R*agan saying “make america great again” and I found myself to be one of the very few people in the audience who didn’t applaud, I came to the realization that I was no longer in a movie theater and I had, in fact, descended into the deepest pit of Hell where Amy Adams is only made visible as a homophobic woman from Wyoming, and white men in suits throw statues at her for how…

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  • A Star Is Born

    A Star Is Born

    ★★★½

    The movie ended... and it cut to black.... and the theater was completely silent.... becuase it was soo good.... and from the distant back of the theater.... an unseen emotional Gay let out a whimper.... “yas Gaga.”

  • Phantom Thread

    Phantom Thread

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I’m sorry but if I’m on a first date with a man and he tells me that his dead mother’s hair has been sewn into the lining of the blazer he is currently wearing I would just get up and leave.