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  • Transformers: The Last Knight

    Transformers: The Last Knight

    ★½

    Whatever, I freely admit that the only reason I went to this was the promise of seeing the big screen coated in $200 million of Michael Bay's spunk. Watching the silly computer dollars float across the screen feels devilish and I do so love to live deliciously.

    I will say though, the Transformers' fascination with contemporary hip-hop is very weird.

  • Another Evil

    Another Evil

    ★★★

    Kinda faceplants the pivotal toneflip where the central relationship goes from friendly to creepy, but the vibe is masterfully oppressive up to that point, and I was riveted by Mark's monologue about squishing an old lady's eyeballs and fucking the devil. I can't help but feel that Carson Mell's scriptwriting adjacency to Jody Hill is somewhat telling.

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  • Immoral Tales

    Immoral Tales

    ★★★

    Not enough naked European chicks lol jk there are enough

  • The Survivalist

    The Survivalist

    ★★★★

    I thought it was a dumb name too, but there's a surprising amount of gardening in this movie! For every brutal, violent scene of post-apoc hoodiemen savagely killing each other there are about 50 that are just some dude survivaling - and at least one time jerking off on his plants. Why do I feel like I'm not selling this very well.