The first 5-10 minutes of this thing are actually really good. After that, though, it becomes pretty much the worst fucking thing you can imagine. Christ, these movies are the drizzling shits.
Well, that’s not entirely true. The most recent one—LOST KINGDOM, or whatever—managed to gather up a pretty good head of steam and gave us a fun last hour. But this one—it’s as if Trevorrow is doing a godawful hacky job of directing on purpose.
We’re through with these…
Klaus Kinski’s been on a prison chain gang for ten years for a crime he never committed. He’s released in the opening scene, and immediately arms himself, hops aboard a horse named Hurricane, and sets out to exact revenge upon the people who put him there.
It’s basically FRIDAY THE 13TH as a spaghetti Western, with Kinski as Jason, the hapless bad guy gang as the campers, and the abandoned border town as Camp Crystal Lake. The whole thing takes…
I’m the oldest person in my department at work which means that I’ll occasionally get hit with Old Guy Questions. just the other day one of the whippersnappers I work with said to me “jeez you’ve been married for almost twennnnnty yeeeeeears! that’s almost as long as I’ve been aliiiiiiive! what’s your secret?”
I always play the aw-shucks card when I get asked questions like that but as we all know the secret to a good, healthy marriage is knowing…