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  • Psycho Goreman

    Psycho Goreman

    ★★★★

    As the father of an extremely bossy daughter, this played like a chilling glimpse into my future. If she ever gets her hands on a mystical gem that can be used to control an interplanetary conqueror with powers beyond mortal comprehension, I am totally fucked. Bonus points for naming this terrifying and impossibly bloody monster “PG.”

  • Beverly Hills Ninja

    Beverly Hills Ninja

    ★★

    Chris Farley was a brilliant physical comedian who could make almost any situation funny with his mere presence, which is good because this screenplay has almost no jokes besides Farley falling down in a million different ways. Even with a script that feels like it was written in less time than it takes to watch the movie, there are some Farley-related highlights, like when he and his sidekick (Chris Rock!) drive their convertible through a car wash. (The part where he pretends to be a hibachi chef I could have done without.)

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  • Parasite

    Parasite

    Another Bong hit.

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ★★★★★

    Two names. Two boyfriends. Two best friends. Two semesters. Two school plays. Two dances. Two parties. Two distinct relationships with her parents. Two potential colleges. Two churches. And a hundred million kajillion tears for the scene at the airport.