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  • Total Recall

    Total Recall

    ★★★★½

    Either this movie is now 30 years old or the memory implant someone put inside my head is breaking down very rapidly. Honestly, could go either way at this point. More at ScreenCrush.

  • Predator

    Predator

    ★★★★

    [Turns off Predator: Hunting Grounds]
    [sits in quiet contemplation]
    [Turns on Predator]

  • The Witches of Eastwick

    The Witches of Eastwick

    ★★★½

    “Men are such cocksuckers, aren’t they? You don’t have to answer that. It’s true. They’re scared. Their dicks get limp when confronted by a woman of obvious power. And what to do they do about it? Call them witches. Burn them, torture them, until every woman is afraid. Afraid of herself, afraid of men, and all for what? Fear of losing their hard-on. Let’s play some music.”

  • The Dick Tracy Special

    The Dick Tracy Special

    ★★★

    Leonard Maltin interviews Warren Beatty in character as Dick Tracy — and it’s just as bizarre as that sounds. This was made almost 20 years after Dick Tracy was released, and it was apparently part of Beatty’s battle at the time over the movie rights to the property. I haven’t been this mesmerized by a faux documentary puff piece that’s weirdly self-critical at the same time since The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan. What an oddity!

  • Dick Tracy

    Dick Tracy

    ★★★½

    Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy! Tracy!…

  • The Bellboy

    The Bellboy

    ★★★½

    I laughed so hard at the scene with Milton Berle it hurt my stomach.

  • Park Row

    Park Row

    ★★★★½

    A 70-year-old movie about a 135-year-old circulation war populated with forgotten 19th century celebrities that’s hilariously relevant in 2020. An 83-minute tribute to the power of words. Words spoken, words written, words typeset, words printed.

    “The press is good or evil, according to the character of those who direct it.”

    -30-

  • The Lovebirds

    The Lovebirds

    ★★★

    A comedy of remarriage for the age of retweets. Pitch: “What if Date Night, but funny? And also: What if Eyes Wide Shut, but funny?”

    And it is funny. And that is enough.

  • Aladdin

    Aladdin

    ★★★★

    “A Whole New World” with Peabo and Regina, best end credits song ever.

  • Sleepless

    Sleepless

    ★★★

    Never got around to this remake of Sleepless Night because I love the original and the reviews were mostly terrible, but this was a solid B-movie with a very good, very sweaty Jamie Foxx performance in the lead role. Is it going to change your life? Of course not. Did it get the job done while I was decompressing on a Friday night? Hell yes.

  • Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

    Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

    ★★

    I just wish they had stuck with the original concept, Aliens vs. Predator vs. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.

  • AVP: Alien vs. Predator

    AVP: Alien vs. Predator

    ★★½

    The movie runs 89 minutes and a full third of that is wasted introducing a ton of human characters who are treated like cannon fodder the second the title characters show up. Still, the effects are gloppily, gloriously practical and it’s hard to entirely dismiss any film where Sanaa Lathan wields a severed xenomorph head as a shield.