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Matt has written 21 reviews for films rated ½ .

  • Love on a Leash

    Love on a Leash

    ½

    If you tried to make the worst movie humanly possible — and in the midst of that endeavor a dog somehow ate your camera and all of your memory cards and you had to cut something together out of the scraps of surviving footage at the last minute to present something at your contractually mandated premiere — you couldn’t make something this awful. It makes Birdemic look like The Birds. It makes Ed Wood look like Edward Albee. It makes Tommy Wiseau look like Thomas Pynchon. Truly, a new low in the world of movies.

  • Mac and Me

    Mac and Me

    ½

    Spielberg is amazing but even he has misses every now and then.

  • China Salesman

    China Salesman

    ½

    I could not describe the intricacies of the plot of this movie if the fate of my children depended on it. Also one of the most ridiculous fight scenes in recent memory, discussed at length here. Very extremely ungood.

  • The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

    The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

    ½

    No child should ever watch this, except possibly as a non-violent alternative to corporal punishment when they do something really bad.

    I’m going to watch and write about every movie on IMDb’s Bottom 100 List. This is the second installment.

  • The Book of Henry

    The Book of Henry

    ½

    A once in a generation good-bad movie. More at ScreenCrush.

  • The Emoji Movie

    The Emoji Movie

    ½

    Crappy. (If you prefer the poop emoji, that works too.)

    Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • Transformers: Age of Extinction

    Transformers: Age of Extinction

    ½

    This really might be the worst $200 million movie ever. And if it’s not, I pray to God I never see the movie that is.

  • Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie

    Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie

    ½

    Sets the bar for the new Power Rangers so low that the only way the 2017 movie doesn’t clear it is if every DCP spontaneously combusts in the projector.

  • Mother's Day

    Mother's Day

    ½

    “There’s no silence quieter than the one in a movie theater during a bad comedy. At times during Mother’s Day, director Garry Marshall’s newest debasement of a beloved holiday, a hush fell over the audience to rival the quietude at a Benedictine monastery. When the laughter finally came, it was always at the movie’s expense. This disaster is less intentionally funny than the last movie titled Mother’s Day, and that was a violent horror film.”

    Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain

    3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain

    ½

    Strange but true: This movie's effect on anyone who tries to watch it was the inspiration for the VHS tape from THE RING.

  • Maximum Conviction

    Maximum Conviction

    ½

    "I have seen MAXIMUM CONVICTION more than once." -- Perhaps the saddest factual statement I could make about my life.

  • Men, Women & Children

    Men, Women & Children

    ½

    -This sad, angry movie feels like the work of a miserable old man who refuses to adapt to a changing world.

    -(Jason Reitman is 38.)

    -In my worst nightmares, I could not have conceived of Judy Greer, an actor I greatly admire, giving a performance this bad (in fairness, it’s probably at least 75% the script’s fault).

    -In my worst nightmares, I could not have conceived of Jennifer Garner, an actor I greatly admire, giving a performance this bad (in…