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Matt has written 84 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Joker

    Joker

    ★½

    Todd Phillips, who directed, produced, and co-wrote the film with Scott Silver, clearly understands the plots of these Scorsese movies, but not their souls. Joker isn’t a film about a misanthrope, it is a misanthropic movie. While there are vague notions of political subtext in the citizens of Gotham City — who are denounced as “clowns” by wealthy businessman Thomas Wayne (Brett Cullen) and then embrace the insult, deplorables-style, and begin wearing clown masks as they protest in the streets…

  • Late Night

    Late Night

    ★½

    Why are movies and TV shows about the inner workings of TV comedy never funny? There isn’t a single laugh out loud joke in this entire film; there is no discernible difference between the TV show where Late Night is set when it is doing poorly and when it starts doing well. I could forgive the fact that the movie doesn’t feel like an authentic depiction of TV production, comedy writing, broadcast network politics, or the New York standup and dating scenes if it at least made me chuckle occasionally. But it didn’t.

  • Mr. Right

    Mr. Right

    ★½

    I let my wife pick the movie. It was her birthday. So I felt terrible about it, but I had to tell her we’re never celebrating it ever again.

  • Spider-Man Strikes Back

    Spider-Man Strikes Back

    ★½

    Spidey has to recover some plutonium that’s taken by a bunch of snotty grad students who are out to prove how easy it is to steal and and make a nuclear bomb by stealing and making a nuclear bomb from one of their professors. Can’t argue with that kind of galaxy brain logic!

    This feature was stitched together from two hour-long episodes of the 1970s Spider-Man TV series. Spider-Man is barely in it, and when he is in it, his…

  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    ★½

    The last movie this big saddled with a story and characters this bad was Independence Day: Resurgence.

    Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • Tolkien

    Tolkien

    ★½

    “You're gonna have to give him a moment, son. J.R.R. Tolkien has to think about his entire life before he writes The Lord of the Rings.”

    Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • Glass

    Glass

    ★½

    Turns out Unbreakable was not unbreakable. Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • Robin Hood

    Robin Hood

    ★½

    Siri who thought this was a good idea

  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    ★½

    Wanted from the crimes of murder, blackmail, deception, and being unbelievably boring.

    Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

    Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

    ★½

    If you want to watch a movie where Matthew McConaughey crushes a woman’s skull and you’ve already seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, I guess this will do.

  • Jaws 3-D

    Jaws 3-D

    ★½

    I was rooting for the shark all the way in this one. Fuck these dumb humans.

  • Mile 22

    Mile 22

    ★½

    Terribly edited. Badly acted. So absurdly over the top it makes Hot Shots! Part Deux looks like a nuanced depiction of war.

    Full review at ScreenCrush.