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Matt has written 124 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Circus of Horrors

    Circus of Horrors


    Seen with live Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffing!!! It was so funny! The ending was extremely silly!

  • The Amazing Johnathan Documentary

    The Amazing Johnathan Documentary


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Here is a movie where the “twists,” surprising as they may be in the moment, actively undermine the movie as a whole. Is it unexpected when the director of this movie finds out there are other documentarians making their own Amazing Johnathan portraits? Yeah, sure. Does it add anything to the portrait of Johnathan? Maybe in the tiniest way, because they show he is an untrustworthy prankster. But it also sends the movie careening off in an uninteresting direction, as…

  • Star Trek Into Darkness

    Star Trek Into Darkness


    There are some lovely character moments here, lots of fun references to the history of the series, and some of the coolest shots of the Enterprise ever. Unfortunately, in order to enjoy them, you have to wade through the half of the movie featuring Benedict Cumberbatch as John Harrison/Character Redacted, which is just beyond dumb. His plan is dumb, his mystery benefactor’s plan is dumb, the way Kirk and Spock stop him is dumb, and the repetition of scenes from…

  • The Lion King

    The Lion King


    No, I cannot feel the love tonight.

    Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • Shaft



    Of all the movies named Shaft, this one has the most characters actually named Shaft.

    (Also, did I misread the other Shafts, or did they suddenly turn this relatively serious — or at least straight-faced — franchise into a comedy? Either way, Roundtree is still so cool it’s genuinely upsetting he’s only in the last 15 minutes.)

  • Murder Mystery

    Murder Mystery


    A working-class New York City cop with a rocky marriage gets embroiled in a million-dollar crime while on a vacation to a glamorous locale where he encounters a diverse cast of exotic, international killers.

    Yes, Adam Sandler made his own Die Hard. Or, in his case, Die Lazy.

  • Men in Black: International

    Men in Black: International


    Here come the Men in Blech
    Galaxy defenders.
    Here come the Men in Blech
    (Men in Blech)
    You definitely won’t remember

    (Because it’s a very forgettable movie you see. Full review at ScreenCrush.)

  • Dark Phoenix

    Dark Phoenix


    The X-Men series finally burns out. Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • X-Men: Apocalypse

    X-Men: Apocalypse


    See what you want to do when you cast one of the most handsome men on the planet is bury him beneath 60 pounds of hideous blue makeup, have him talk in a hilariously goofy voice, and only do incredibly uncool things like stick his hand on a television screen and moan “Lllllleeeeeeearniiiiiiing.” That’s just smart business sense!

    Also, in the last scene of Days of Future Past, Wolverine is fished out of the water by Mystique disguised as Stryker.…

  • Aladdin



    I can’t say for sure Will Smith’s Genie will give me nightmares. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. He just looks so ... weird, like the original Genie of Aladdin decided to try to win the Mr. Olympia contest. Why is the Genie so shredded? Why would a Genie have abs?!?

    Full review at ScreenCrush.

  • Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

    Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace


    Feeling too midi-chlorinated to talk right now. Come back later after I’ve calmed down.

  • Action Point

    Action Point


    -I like Knoxville’s post-Jackass aesthetic of blending real stunts with fiction stories, but his acting here is so forced, with a thick, affected accent. You always know when he’s doing his own stunts because suddenly he sounds like Johnny Knoxville again, cackling and yelping like a loon sans accent. Bad Grandpa was a better character for him, with a story that made better use of his physical gifts.

    -Speaking of Jackass, the best performance in the film is Chris Pontius,…