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  • Killing Hasselhoff

    Killing Hasselhoff

    ½

    Funny how David Hasselhoff starred in the two worst movies of 2017

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    ★★★★

    2019 movies have taught me that boys and girls have very different reactions to being alone on an island together

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ★★★★

    Happy movie :)

  • Palm Springs

    Palm Springs

    ★★★½

    The reference to I threw it on the ground is objectively the best part of the movie

  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

    The Grand Budapest Hotel

    ★★★★½

    Alexandre Desplat is a gift from God

  • Moonrise Kingdom

    Moonrise Kingdom

    ★★★★

    Although I did thoroughly enjoy it, this movie proved to me that Wes isn’t 100% for me

  • Ocean's Eleven

    Ocean's Eleven

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It takes 55 minutes for them to all be in the same room, only a third of the next hour was actual heisting, and they don’t even get the money in the end. It’s clear that this was just rat pack product placement.

  • Ocean's Thirteen

    Ocean's Thirteen

    ★★★

    A very satisfying end to a very satisfying trilogy

  • The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

    The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

    ★★★★

    Comedy peaked in the 80s

  • Da 5 Bloods

    Da 5 Bloods

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I can usually suspend my disbelief in movies because they are movies, but there is absolutely no way that when the first land mine goes off, the three people from LAMB that da bloods met the night before just happen to be within 100 feet of them, especially since there are hundreds and hundreds of miles of Vietnamese jungle. They just teleport to the group for plot convenience.

    It’s a great movie with even better performances, but there’s a lot…

  • Ocean's Twelve

    Ocean's Twelve

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I haven’t watched this one in years, and the scene where Julia Robert’s character pretends to be Julia Roberts while being foiled by Bruce Willis was completely removed from my memory, and it was a blast seeing that again. I don’t really understand why people hate that scene. It would be stupid if they succeeded and they did steal the egg by pretending to be Julia Roberts, but they got caught and that’s what they were trying to do. They…

  • Jerry Maguire

    Jerry Maguire

    ★★★★½

    This movie rocks. That’s the only way to put it.