Asher’s review published on Letterboxd:
Frankenstein: (giving Igor a doctor's exam) Hmmm... I don't see what the problemmm - Aha!
Igor: What? Did ya find it?
F: Yes I did!
I: Is it bad?
F: Not too terribly bad... But it could be rather painful.
I: I knew it! I knew I should have never wiped me auss with those damn leaves!
I: Yes master?
F: Just what sort of leaves were these that you wiped your ass with, if I may ask?
I: Ahhh... They were green.
I: That's right... Green.
F: Could you be little more specific?
I: Whatda mean by that... Specific?
F: I mean, could you give some more details about those leaves you wiped your ass with? I need more than just " they were green".
I: Okay than... Well (thinking really hard)... They were a bit rough.
I: Yeah, that's right, rough!
I: What is it now?
F: Oh nothing... Just that these leaves sound an awful lot like poison ivy.
I: Poison ivoy?!
F: Yes! And the rashes on your anus look a lot like the rashes one gets... From poison ivy!
I: Oh deer!
F: Yes! Oh deer indeed!
I: I had no idea! Tell me Frankenstein... Will my anus be olright?
I: Depends on what?
F: Depends if I can find the right medicine for it.
I: You mean to tell me, they actually have medicine that gets rid of that stoff?
F: Yes, they most certainly do!
I: Well, that's just wonderfole... How do you use it?
F: Why, put it directly on the anus of course.
I: That's it?
I: ...I see... What happens if you get inside your auss?
F: Well, you wouldn't want to do that. It's not meant for putting inside anything, just for putting on the surface.
I: I'M not talkin bout the medicine!!
F: Than what are you talking about?
I: The poison ivoy!! I'm talkin bout the poison ivoy!!
F: Oh... Well, you most definitely wouldn't want to get that in there either!
I: I see... Sooooo...? Where do we find this poison ivoy auss cream?
F: I'm afraid it's not on the market.
I: (puzzle) Not... On da market...?
F: Afraid not, I would have to make it myself.
I: Well than?
F: Well what?
I: Are you gonna get to it or not olreadly?!!
F: Hold your horses, Igor. I will, I will! All in due time though.
I: Well I think it's due time now... I don't think me auss can take much more of this.
F: Then I'll get on it right away!
[3 HOURS LATER]...
F: It is finished!!!
I: What's finished? (looking at Frankenstein with a puzzled stare)
F: Why the medicine of course!
I: Good! So, who's gonna put it on?
F: ...I guess I'll have to be the one.
[LONG UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE]...
I: Olright than... Just don't you be go gettin any iydeas!
F: (sort of annoyed) Hadn't planned on it!
[Frankenstein prepares to rub on the medicinal cream, with Igor - but cheeks spread apart - lying face down on the operating table... Frankenstein begins rubbing on the medicinal cream]
F: What?! Does it hurt?!
I: ...No ...Actually... It feels quite nice... You should be proud master.
F: (sarcastically with a slight giggle) Of what?!
I: Your hands.
F: My hand?!
I: Yes... You have such gentle hands!
F: Why thank you, Igor... I suppose.
I: Don't be ashamed master.
F: ...Why should I be ashamed...?
I: Because of what you're doing...
F: And what is it I'm doing...?
I: ...Rubbing my anus (deep inhale & exhale)... With a soft gentle cream using your soft gentle hands.
F: Okay than... I think we're done here!
F: Afraid so.
[Igor gets up off of operating table and pulls up his trousers... Frankenstein walks him to the exit door of the operating chambers]
I: (standing outside doorway, looking at Frankenstein) Can't thank you enough master!
F: Oh, no big deal... Just helping out a friend -
[long uncomfortable silence]
F: Now, if you don't mind, I have to get back to more important things!
I: Olright than!