The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling ★★★★

"Is this where I can cry?"

"It wasn't because he was zen, it was because he was in desperate need of being zen."

"He was everything he needed and was never given, for everyone."

Just the fact that Judd Apatow made a 4 hour movie I actually wanted to watch is a miracle in itself… clearly this was gonna be the best thing he has ever done but I did worry a little at the start when he was on screen so much… luckily he quickly (mostly) gets out of the way and this was just like the biggest warmest hug for someone who has been let down by so many of their comedy people over the last few years… this took me back to the days when I was so fascinated by the deepest darkest aspects of comedy. (lol sounds like I'm talking about decades ago really it's only like 5 years max, the landscape has changed so much, so fast, in that time - like, just Ricky Gervais for example, his 2016 movie Life on the Road is one of my fave movies of all time and now he's literally garbage to me after his latest special… yes, I watched it… PS this isn't as random a reference as it seems, Gervais makes an appearance as do most comedians you've heard of, and the clip with him is glorious in how ridiculous he comes across…) The onscreen excerpts from the diaries themselves are so beautiful I kind of hope there'll actually be a book if it isn't too invasive (which this never felt like it was, and I have felt that from similar documentaries before), like, even despite its length I can see myself revisiting this fairly soon just for the inspiration they give.