• Leprechaun 4: In Space

    Leprechaun 4: In Space


    (lol I ended up forgetting to post this but I'm just gonna post it without touching it in the morning)

    They denied us major cock growth once more lol, damn for a sec I thought it was happening lol… sorry, I just had to say that, I've said worse things on a drinking night I think.

    I have zero memory of this though I'm sure I saw it before, and I'm gonna stick to that, I'm sure I saw at…

  • Leprechaun 3

    Leprechaun 3



    "Metallica! Wait… White Zombie…"

    "Tell me, what was Judy Garland really like?"

    I'm not sure if this was the first one I saw or just the one I remember most and not just cos of the boobs and ass expansion scene (which isn't even very well done, just grotesque) lol it just seems to have a better approach to the magical…

  • Heat



    I reviewed this well enough in 2019 when I was reevaluating the first 40 years of my life… I think that's when I found out about the One Heat Minute podcast but knew I had no time at the time to wait… but I finally listened to it all, somehow (call me crazy) over the past year and, man… it's not like I have more to add except to just praise that whole venture and say it didn't diminish how…

  • Brighton Rock

    Brighton Rock


    "You're good and I'm bad. we're made for each other."

    The casting of this is insanity, there's no reason why it wouldn't be at least watchable. Same as the '48 movie, I don't understand how anybody watched this and thought it had no connections to Greene's themes about religion etc it's so completely there (if you need to read my thoughts on adaptation they're here

    Personally I couldn't get over Andrea Riseborough as Rose, that character was my life since…

  • Pretty Baby

    Pretty Baby


    "I run a good old fashioned whorehouse, sir, and you look a little rabbity to me…"

    "You can't beat a child. It only teaches her to beat others."

    "I love you once, I love you twice, I love you more than beans n rice…"

    There's no movie I wish more I had an old review of which to share except I know even if I did it would be so inappropriate I'd decide not to share it… I wasn't sure…

  • Macbeth



    I got so much more out of this on the long overdue rewatch than I did from Olivier's Hamlet from the same year… it's simultaneously so much more direct, immediate, and creative, I don't know how to explain it. It's funny to experience these things so long after the last time/first time you saw them, and it's happening a lot, especially this year.

  • Brighton Rock

    Brighton Rock


    "Some of them, blimey, they freeze you."
    "They freeze me, too."
    "You're sensitive, like me."

    I wasn't ready for how I'd feel watching this again, but at least I knew I'd definitely watched it before, certain images were etched into my memories. Not so with the book, which I listened to this week with the same thought… just the first sentence was enough to remind me I'd definitely read it before, at school, probably GCSE age, meaning I was literally…

  • Cocaine Bear

    Cocaine Bear


    "Based on true events."

    "Source: Wikipedia."

    "Hey Henry! It looks like the deer on this sign are doin' it!"

    "I'd love to not remember that. But it seems like the kinda thing that stays with a man forever."

    "You smart girl…"

    "The bear is a girl."
    "How do you know that?"
    "Because its vagina is on my ear."

    Elizabeth. This doesn't help. But it's kinda sorta accidentally the movie of our time. I hope you're happy.

    The kids in this…

  • Mr. Peabody and the Mermaid

    Mr. Peabody and the Mermaid


    "You're no guppy either…"

    "No decision, even about mermaids, should be made with even a suggestion of alcohol under the belt…"

    I learned so hard to be disappointed by so-called "mermaid" or even any kind of imaginary entity movie (Harvey, pfft) I consistently put this off too long till I had the year in question facing me, and it's immediately one of the good ones, it makes it clear out front where it stands ("there are stranger things, like normal…

  • Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields

    Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields


    I was hoping this would be on here even though it's such a thing I won't personally count as a movie since it's presented as a two-parter in most situations.

    In the end it's a more interesting doc than I expected cos it shows the more difficult side of her that proves none of this, never mind the subjects, are as much the clearcut case as we want them to be. The way people will hate her for her more…

  • Evil Dead Rise

    Evil Dead Rise


    "Are you gonna be a mom?"
    "Yes. And I'm getting us out of here."

    "I'm free now… free from all you titty-sucking parasites…"

    At the very end (and I had to stop myself posting the review too soon here), I have to admit maybe it's not so much an Evil Dead movie as a certain specific subgenera

    It still isn't quite close to the pure manic state the original reaches that still, for me, makes it both funnier and scarier…

  • Hamlet



    You don't need to adapt Shakespeare.

    The opening scene of this is fucking embarrassing for everyone involved, but the rest of it is probably the second best filmed version after Branagh (I'ld actually love to watch the Zeferrelli/Gibson version again, maybe soon). It's my fave Shakespeare probably (the play), probably that's not an amazing thing to announce, but it is, because of or despite of education, it's one of those things that survived education and stuck with me and I…