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  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War

    ★★★

    This film is the equivalent of that time you took all your “guys” - He-Man, GI Joe, Transformers, Go-Bots, little green army men, Thundercats, your sister’s Ken dolls, Greedo, Superfly Jimmy Snuka, Hamburglar & Grimace from a McDonald’s happy meal, a couple LEGO astronauts and any other “figures” you can scrounge up. Then you dig a big fucking fighting pit in your backyard sandbox. You think of different planet names like Gibblex and Mafoopa to have all the guys fly into…

  • A Star Is Born

    A Star Is Born

    ★★★★½

    Bradley Cooper’s Dances with Wolves...and the Tatanka is urine.

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  • Fyre

    Fyre

    ★★★★

    Trust fund millennials don’t understand how good they have it.

    The only Fyre Festival I got was right before my parents got divorced and Boogie set up a mylar dome tent in the gravel outside my house to sleep in. 

    The festival started around noon each summer day when it was 94 degrees out (126 actual tent temp).  I would enter my own spiritual sweat lodge with nothing but a pair of Underoos and a fluorescent green Shopko walkman. The…

  • Head

    Head

    ★★★★★

    Humanity in the 21st century is a timeless, bottomless fishbowl. An endless decaying sludge which is chock full of useless everlasting gobstoppers and formless multi-colored pieces of corn-infested shit.

    A 17-yr old could discover the Monkees 1968 film Head on the same day they discover 1991’s Nirvana Nevermind album while they play 1984’s excitebike on a replica 1985 NES gaming system manufactured in 2018 to capture nostalgia dollars from their parents who were conceived while their grandparents fucked to an…

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  • The Hateful Eight

    The Hateful Eight

    ★★★★★

    This film contains the most outrageously written gonzo hate infested scene QT has written since the infamous Dennis Hopper/Chris Walken "Sicilian Scene". I must also mention this scene is scored using the Xmas classic "Silent Night." This scene by itself nets this film 5 stars in my book and may quite possibly be my favorite scene in any film in the last 5 years.

    The rest of the film is ok too...
    In the spirit of QT's cinematic recycling, I've…

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    ★★

    3 years ago when I first found letterboxd, I wrote a review about Man of Steel. In this review I decided that my interest for comic book films had been completely dead...only to be aroused once more by the great Zack Snyder.

    Since then I have seen many Marvel films ...some of which I have decided are the bane of my existence and are eating the flesh of cinema whole from the inside out.
    Therefore I was quite excited for…