• That's My Boy

    That's My Boy

    ★½

    Forgot how simultaneously funny and unfunny this movie is. Still worth a watch, I was equally disgusted and gut-busting.

  • Shaun of the Dead

    Shaun of the Dead

    ★★★★½

    Go to the Winchester, have a pint, and wait for all of this to blow over

    Perhaps the greatest Zom-Rom-Com ever produced, Shaun of the Dead is also probably perhaps Edgar Wright’s strongest outing and his masterpiece. Seldom do films have me laughing so loudly so early and weeping so silently moments later. The humour and editing style Wright applies to Shaun works perfectly with each other. The script is absolutely top notch, some of the best lines you’ll hear…

  • Elle

    Elle

    ★★★★

    I walk in and it's one horror after another.”

    Haunting, heartbreaking and harrowing, and in a strange way, exquisitely beautiful, Elle is one of the hardest watches I’ve experienced over the last 10 years of my analyses of film. It was also one of the few films where I became almost enraged at by the time the film had concluded. Michèle, played beautifully by Isabelle Huppert in one of the very best performances of the 2010s, is a woman haunted…

  • The House of the Devil

    The House of the Devil

    ★★½

    I greatly enjoyed the atmosphere and style of this movie, but like so many movies before it, it’s all style and no substance. I didn’t read any of the taglines or synopsis so I went in blind, and other than a few slick moments, and the eerie shot of the cemetery on the arrival to the house in question, I was disappointed by the lack of anything really happening. Stylistically though, very impressive, it felt like a classic 70s-80s horror…

  • White Noise

    White Noise

    ★★½

    Family is the cradle of the world’s misinformation

    Quite absurd, White Noise was very enjoyable. I had found myself chuckling at the ridiculousness of many of its more unreasonable moments, and swelling when it’s more emotional moments came along. One scene, in particular, when Adam Driver’s Jack and Greta Gerwig’s Babette are on a walk back to their home and they’re describing how boring their lives are, and Babette exclaims, “I hope it lasts forever,” a cute double meaning. Speaking…

  • Squid Game

    Squid Game

    ★★★½

    I think I would’ve enjoyed it better if my girlfriend was cool with watching it undubbed.

  • Elvis

    Elvis

    ★★½

    I don’t feel I’m doing anything wrong

    Indeed you don’t or there would’ve been second thoughts before this indulgence in film gluttony. Oscar-bait that fell flat and was way too much for it’s runtime (despite it’s very long runtime), Luhrmann’s Elvis is a weak imitation of the same style of biopic Walk the Line exists asbut lacks the same appeal and charm, wit or conviction. Walk Hard is a better example of a biopic, even though it’s a mockery. Too long to be a…

  • 3 Women

    3 Women

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I had the most wonderful dream

    Dream logic plots are some of the hardest works to follow, analyze and enjoy while watching a film. Throughout most of 3 Women, I was feeling very confident in what was going on, but then ten minutes would pass and I would feel lost in the very quiet ethereal moments of the film. It felt like reading a book and getting lost in the space between the lines. Which is fitting as the characters…

  • Spring Breakers

    Spring Breakers

    ★★½

    I never want it to end. Spring break forever!”

    Nightmarish, but not in a way that I expected. It’s not nearly as smart or clever as every reviewer is saying it is, but I’m also not entirely sure that Harmony Korine was implying it is, or even attempting to reveal anything intelligent or interesting about himself or the effects of the behaviour the leads in Spring Breakers indulge in. I think rather the goal was to film a fever dream…

  • Jigsaw

    Jigsaw

    ★★

    Not the worst horror film, not even the worst Saw film, but by far one of the most forgettable

  • Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

    Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

    ★★

    Is this perhaps the worst adaptation of a decent book? Perhaps. Is it a dogshit movie? Perhaps. Did I rewatch the shit out of this with my brother because I wanted a pick me up after watching Legion and was throughly disappointed? Absolutely.

  • Legion

    Legion

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “Good idea, great concept, terrible execution. The movie should’ve ended when Gabriel killed everybody.” - Owen

    It should’ve stayed and ended in the diner. I think the idea was solid, but there was no clear direction, and felt like they were trying to cram too many ideas into one project. The first half, where it all took place in the diner, was good, and actually kind of disturbing. However, the writing became convoluted and messy, and the acting started to lack. 

    I loved it as a kid, don’t love it as an adult