maria has written 8 reviews for films rated ★½ during 2020.

  • Fantasy Island

    Fantasy Island


    when lucy hale's in it, you just know it's gonna be peachy

  • Daredevil



    whoever thought that:
    a: my immortal by evanescence at a funeral scene
    b: bring me to life, also by evanescence, at a dramatic elektra training and matt getting dressed sequence
    c: n.e.r.d. by lapdance, introducing kingpin with lyrics such as "i'm an outlaw quick on the draw something you've never seen before and i dare a motherfucker to come in my face"
    d: top o' the morning to ya by house of pain introducing colin farrell's bullseye with lyrics such…

  • All the Bright Places

    All the Bright Places


    for a movie called all the bright places i couldn't see shit

  • Charlie's Angels

    Charlie's Angels


    if having noah centineo in your movie isn't the worst thing about it, then we got a problem sis

  • Breakthrough



    i hate the oscars for many reasons this year, but the main one has to be that they subjected me to THIS train wreck of a movie

  • Dolittle



    this didn't DOSHIT for me so i spend the entire runtime playing Which Celebrity Person™ Is Voicing Which Annoying Animal. what a load of.............. fun

  • Countdown



    why the fuck isn't this a january movie. i watched it in january so i declare it a january movie, i said what I said

  • Pan



    this is the movie i decided to start the decade with. nailed it