maria has written 10 reviews for films rated ★★½ during 2020.

  • Mulan

    Mulan

    ★★½

    "this is my sad face 🙂 this is my curious face 🙂 and now I'm confused 🙂"
    - me throughout this whole movie. also to people who paid 30 dollars for this

  • Trolls World Tour

    Trolls World Tour

    ★★½

    poppy: we need to sing them the most important songs in the history of music
    pop trolls: *sing gangnam style by psy*
    me: 🙂

  • Murder on the Orient Express

    Murder on the Orient Express

    ★★½

    that was definitely a train wreck...

  • Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

    Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

    ★★½

    if harley quinn is beating the shit out of me, don't stop her. she caught ME slipping. that is on ME

  • Sonic the Hedgehog

    Sonic the Hedgehog

    ★★½

    i'm conflicted. i'm confused. i'm experiencing a mental battle. this movie baffled me. this movie was a vast web of hard ons and turn offs. i want to know. i want to see the truth 🎵 hello darkness my old friend 🎵listen, they give us SANIC but then they give us sonic flossing... TWICE. they give us SONIC FANBOYING OVER KEANU FUCKING REEVES and two SPEED REFERENCES, but then we get unhinged jim carrey being jim carrey which idk what…

  • Guns Akimbo

    Guns Akimbo

    ★★½

    me: has a bunch of masterpieces in my watchlist and not time to watch them
    also me: watches a garbage meme michael-bay-editing knockoff movie, surrounded by a twitter controversy, with a "i know how to say fuck look how cool i am" harry potter, running around and shooting people with his guns for hands and his funky flip flops and samara weaving shooting men in the dick
    me: i make good life choices

  • Waves

    Waves

    ★★½

    when that aspect ratio changed from widescreen to 4:3, my ass clenched along with it

  • Harriet

    Harriet

    ★★½

    really great until the movie gets in the way

  • Bombshell

    Bombshell

    ★★½

    how come this episode of the office wasn't just 20 minutes like the other ones

  • Last Christmas

    Last Christmas

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    i can’t believe they made a whole movie based on the “who do you think gave you the heart” meme