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maria has written 8 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • The Visit

    The Visit

    ★★

    bold of m. night shyamalan to include a scene where a diaper full of shit is being shoved into someone's face to symbolize how much shit he's gonna be shoving into our faces for the next 94 minutes

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★

    yes yes very nice fanfiction......... where's the movie now? wait.... THAT was the movie? yikes

  • A Rainy Day in New York

    A Rainy Day in New York

    ★★

    a rainy day in new york is a 2019 american romantic comedy film written and directed by woody allen. it stars woody allen, woody allen, woody allen, woody allen, woody allen AND woody allen. the film follows the romantic exploits of a young college student (allen) on a week-end vacation in nyc, his home town, trying to further bond with his college girlfriend (allen)

  • Gemini Man

    Gemini Man

    ★★

    gen x will smith: who are you?
    gen z will smith: i'm you but fresh

  • The Angry Birds Movie 2

    The Angry Birds Movie 2

    ★★

    that's cool and all but where's my flappy bird movie at

  • The Laundromat

    The Laundromat

    ★★

    bitches watch the big short once and think they can make a movie

  • The Dead Don't Die

    The Dead Don't Die

    ★★

    iggy pop's "lust for life" suddenly has a whole new meaning

  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    ★★

    you: the lions' genitalia aren't shown because it's a disney movie
    me, an intellectual: where dem lion balls at