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maria has written 13 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

    Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga 2020

    ★★ Watched 26 Jun, 2020 16

    i know there are more important things to comment here, like dan stevens' sexy gay icon russian appeal and jaja ding dong being the new national anthem but did they just call simon and garfunkel semen and garfunkel

  • Scoob!

    Scoob! 2020

    ★★ Watched 19 May, 2020 68

    dick diCK dICKkkk diCKKKKKK DICKKKKKK diiiiIIIIIICKKKK

  • Manhattan

    Manhattan 1979

    ★★ Watched 28 Mar, 2020 35

    no amount of beautiful b&w cinematography can save this self indulgent, pretentious and perverted dogshit

  • Adults in the Room

    Adults in the Room 2019

    ★★ Watched 08 Mar, 2020 4

    can i like unsubscribe from being greek please (kidding of course) (not really) (help)

  • Gretel & Hansel

    Gretel & Hansel 2020

    ★★ Watched 26 Feb, 2020 4

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    gretel & hansel more like hansel you didn't do shit in this movie why you even in the title boi

  • The Visit

    The Visit 2015

    ★★ Watched 30 Dec, 2019 8

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    bold of m. night shyamalan to include a scene where a diaper full of shit is being shoved into someone's face to symbolize how much shit he's gonna be shoving into our faces for the next 94 minutes

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker 2019

    ★★ Watched 21 Dec, 2019 22

    yes yes very nice fanfiction......... where's the movie now? wait.... THAT was the movie? yikes

  • A Rainy Day in New York

    A Rainy Day in New York 2019

    ★★ Watched 07 Dec, 2019 11

    a rainy day in new york is a 2019 american romantic comedy film written and directed by woody allen. it stars woody allen, woody allen, woody allen, woody allen, woody allen AND woody allen. the film follows the romantic exploits of a young college student (allen) on a week-end vacation in nyc, his home town, trying to further bond with his college girlfriend (allen)

  • Gemini Man

    Gemini Man 2019

    ★★ Watched 19 Nov, 2019 8

    gen x will smith: who are you?
    gen z will smith: i'm you but fresh

  • The Angry Birds Movie 2

    The Angry Birds Movie 2 2019

    ★★ Watched 27 Oct, 2019 9

    that's cool and all but where's my flappy bird movie at

  • The Laundromat

    The Laundromat 2019

    ★★ Watched 27 Oct, 2019 7

    bitches watch the big short once and think they can make a movie

  • The Dead Don't Die

    The Dead Don't Die 2019

    ★★ Watched 04 Sep, 2019 9

    iggy pop's "lust for life" suddenly has a whole new meaning