maria has written 42 reviews for films rated ★★★ .

  • Malcolm & Marie

    Malcolm & Marie


    5:55 fighting
    43:04 kissing
    1:07:09 marriage story screaming
    1:22:03 making out
    1:33:23 silently fighting
    me: *chandler bing voice* shut up! shut up! sHuT uP!

  • Enola Holmes

    Enola Holmes


    if you say you first started watching this just for the plot you're a liar and i don't want to associate with liars

  • Tenet



    when hermione granger said "you have the emotional range of a teaspoon" she was talking about this movie

  • Nymphomaniac: Vol. II

    Nymphomaniac: Vol. II


    lars von trier, you overgrown cockhair, i'm coming for you bitch

  • The Half of It

    The Half of It


    hella good method to split your movie into a good half and a bad half and then advertise the good half in the title, consider me impressed

  • We Need to Talk About Kevin

    We Need to Talk About Kevin


    they should have talked about kevin a tiny bit more

  • Top Gun

    Top Gun


    may i offer my scientific assessment? not gay enough

  • The Way Back

    The Way Back


    ben affleck this whole movie be like: 🎵 hello darkness my old friend 🎵

  • The Hunt

    The Hunt


    i can't say with which of these two i identify the most... the pig or the dude who asks where the hand sanitizer is

  • Boy Erased

    Boy Erased


    nicole kidman's wig in this just needs to be erased

  • Annie Hall

    Annie Hall


    the single only relatable thing about this mental masturbation of a movie is diane keaton's fear of bugs

  • Ocean Waves

    Ocean Waves


    never lend money to people folks