Mongol General: Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women.
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.
Me: Nah, it's watching Conan the Barbarian.
Conan: I'd like to change my answer.
I've probably seen this like 937 times, and more than half of those viewings were when I was around eight years of age. This film, as of 2020, hasn't aged a bit.…
This isn't really a review for Stalker so much as it is an attempt to explain why someone who spends 90% of their time watching 'trash' cinema would list this as one of their top 10 sci-fi films of all time. Flying in direct and deliberate opposition to all the lengthy attempts at objectively analyzing such films, I've crafted a lengthy subjective analysis instead. We all love the films we love for reasons which are unique to ourselves, which is…
Back in the mid-2000s, I started getting invested in Japanese cinema. Around that time, I was fortunate enough to live near a video store that had a section for Japanese films, which had shelf spaces dedicated to specific directors. I would try out films by different directors and, if I liked what I saw, I would come back and rent the rest of their stuff. This was how I first discovered Takashi Miike, which impacted me, back then, in a…
Yojimbo by way of Jess Franco? Lone Wolf and Cub without the cub, and about a billion more tits? A porno jidaigeki? Yeah, this is some crazy shit. More naked flesh than Pornhub mixed with some absolutely crazy chanbara action. Shinō Ashita is an absolute demon of a man. The kind of hypermasculine, hard-as-nails mofo you'd expect to find in the pages of a Kazuo Koike manga. This dude is slicing and dicing fools like he's doing an infomercial for…
So, I'm not entirely surprised that this is getting mixed reviews. I think it's something that afflicts the Godzilla franchise as a whole, rather than just this latest film. In my opinion, there are two main reasons why people dislike certain Godzilla films.
First, we must consider the fact that Godzilla is just not for everyone. It's a very niche franchise that began as a series of sci-fi B-movies, featuring actors in rubber monster suits wrestling amongst, or demolishing, miniature…
Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave.
- Roy Batty
It's fascinating to me that so many people love this movie these days. Not that I'm complaining or anything. It's great to see it being appreciated. But for the longest time, I felt alone in loving this film.
I was only two years old when it came out, but already it was influencing me, before I was even aware of…
