• A Few Good Men

    A Few Good Men

    ★★★½

    truly hate myself for finding this movie so sexy

  • Yesterday

    Yesterday

    ★★

    Petition for Richard Curtis to remember how people actually behave in real life my GOD this sucked. What a waste of the adorable potential of a Lily James / Himesh Patel romance.

  • The Personal History of David Copperfield

    The Personal History of David Copperfield

    ★★★★

    Exactly the kind of glorious, bonkers nonsense I adore. It feels like it was made by an overgrown theatre kid (a mood enhanced by Olivier Award Winner Aneurin Bernard quite literally getting to lead a chorus at one point) — and believe it or not, I mean that as a compliment.

  • A Secret Love

    A Secret Love

    ★★★

    “You kinda broke the rules your whole life.”

    “Yes I have. That’s why I’m happy!”

  • The Goldfinch

    The Goldfinch

    ★★★★

    YES this was edited like they threw the footage in a wood chipper and aimed it at a wet wall. YES an entire bob dylan song plays over one of the most emotionally-wrought parts of the narrative. YES ansel constantly looks like he is scared of moving his own face. YES i gave it four stars. I am sad and gay and hyperfixating. Please leave me alone.

  • Brokeback Mountain

    Brokeback Mountain

    ★★★★★

    oh god oh god oh god oh god

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    ★★★★★

    Was going to type out something here but, actually... I can’t talk about this film yet. How would I even begin?

  • Knives Out

    Knives Out

    ★★★★½

    I honest-to-god said “David Crank* have my babies” out loud as the credits rolled but this whole entire movie is SEXY. The juicy layers of clues and joke setups that end in the most delicious and satisfying sequence, the way I could almost smell Daniel Craig’s ridiculous accent through the screen it was so thick with honey, Ana de Armas in that purple cardigan, Lakeith Stanfield’s eyebrows......... I could go on.


    *footnote for my fellow ayoade stans: crank designed the double!!!! get u a man who can do both!!!!

  • Like a Boss

    Like a Boss

    mr billy porter sir thank you for your sacrifice

  • The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes

    The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes

    ★★★★

    confirmed himbo John Watson....

  • Hairspray

    Hairspray

    ★★★★★

    Nine year-old me really knew when she called this the best movie ever made... anyway I’M AMBER BRAD TAMMY FENDER BRENDA SKETCH SHELLY IQ LOU-ANN JOEY MIKEY VICKY BECKY BIX JESSIE DARLA PAULY NOREEN DOREEN LINK AND I’M TRACY

  • Downton Abbey

    Downton Abbey

    ★★★½

    I was so caught up in the euphoria of Thomas Barrow experiencing true joy that for a minute I lived in a world where homophobia didn't exist!