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  • Before We Vanish

    Before We Vanish

    Imagine another take of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Now imagine having the invasion occur during the last 5 minutes of the movie and having uninteresting, dull characters just talk ENDLESSLY for the first two hours. This is Before We Vanish, a total snoozefest that is as much aimless as it is nonsensical and with one of the most misleading trailers in recent memory. Seriously, watch this.

    I was getting more impatient and irrationally angry as each minute went by,…

  • Sleepwalkers

    Sleepwalkers

    ★★★

    Clovis and Andy Simpson for president and VP. Respectively, of course.

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  • Most Beautiful Island

    Most Beautiful Island

    ★★★★

    SXSW 2017 #9 - This film is FUCKED UP. Do you know the feeling of clenching your butt and holding your breath because you're so nervous? THAT'S THIS MOVIE FOR 45 MINUTES. The buildup is incredibly intense, and the film is basically an exercise in suspense and teasing everything until the last minute. But it's also a cathartic experience and has a wonderful payoff. Go into this blind, don't read anything about it. The trailer, poster, and synopsis are vague for a reason.

  • Phantom Thread

    Phantom Thread

    ★★★★½

    I've gotten into some heated arguments with friends about Phantom Thread, who are writing off the film based on its trailer because it (admittedly) does make the film appear to be yet another story about a tortured male artist abusing and manipulating a woman. However, let me say that for those who are hesitant about seeing this, Phantom Thread is much more than what its trailer suggests. It's hilarious, filled with exquisite drama, and explores gender roles, power dynamics, and…