Gabrielle’s review published on Letterboxd:
The Empire Strikes Back of my generation as far as I'm concerned.
Film critics like to call this convoluted. A criticism also often directed at its follow-up, At World's End, and apparently one that Dead Men Tell No Tales has not been able to escape. Honestly, what does "convoluted" even means anymore? Heeey what's this? A movie that the screenwriters actually bothered to THINK to come up with its story? Nah, that's too much for the general audience. It's boring and hard to follow.
I watched this movie when I was 11, I was completely enthralled by it and easily understood its story. How the FUCK is this hard to follow?! If an 11 year old can understand this, is this really complicated or can it be that Mr. Film Critic is just too lazy to actually pay attention to the movie instead of a fucking notepad?! If an 11 year old can be amazed by this, is this really boring or is it just you who can't afford a movie having an actual PLOT?
This is the culminating point of years of blockbuster evolution ever since the concept was invented, like it or not. It's the film that defines what the contemporary blockbuster looks like: a plot of epic proportions, intelligent set pieces ranging from modest ambients to massive scales, excellent comedic timing, fantastic and fully realized world-building, Hans Zimmer, a carefully crafted aesthetic value brought to life by an amazing merging of practical effects with digital ones - which remain impressive to this very day. Every titanic production before this was a mere rehearsal, and every one after was spun-off from it. Fuck off, Avatar.